Sakinah Abdul Aziz

What goes up must come down. School's becoming mundane, and if I do speak about meaningful things, I'd only want to do that with someone who knows me best, for now. I don't care about anyone else. I don't feel like having small talks at the moment. So I plugged my ears with music. Sat next to the window in the bus. It was sunny, bright sunny. So I closed my eyes. And just drown. Drown myself in music. It has been quite some time since I lost myself in my world, my music. Let the sunrays bask on my face. And as I opened my eyes, everything else looked green. Wonders of closing your eyes under the Sun. - And so, yesterday marked the first day of the second half of semester. Recess Week has officially ended, boohoo, and what have I really done? Anyway I'm glad stats 2 midterm test was over, and I found it do-able (I hope). Thank God! I must start on genes second assignment, do a whole loadsa readings for abnormal and devt psych. This SMS text between me and N is funny....

Thomas: And you were accepted, of course. You moved from Boston to Paris into a little apartment on the rue du Faubourg-Saint-Denis. I showed you our neighborhood, my bars, my school. I introduced you to my friends, my parents. I listened to your texts, your singing, your hopes, your desires, your music. You listened to mine. My Italian, my German, a bit of Russian. I gave you a walkman. You gave me a pillow. And one day, you kissed me. Time went by, time flew and everything seemed so easy, so simple, so free, so new, so unique. We went to the movies, we went dancing, we went shopping, we laughed, you cried, we swam, we smoked, we shaved, sometimes for no reason, or for a reason. Yes, sometimes for a reason. I brought you to the academy, I studied for my exams, I listened to your singing, to your hopes, your desires, your music. You listened to mine. We were close, so close, ever so close. We went to the movies, we swam, we laughed. You screamed, sometimes for a reason and sometimes w...

Although this song has been awhile, I'm still hooked to it, both the video clip and the song itself. My video fantasy, haha (: Open house today was pretty hectic, but it was fun. Dad was being funny throughout the whole time and being good at entertaining guests (LOL). My dream is to cook as well as my mother. All the best to myself harhar. Thanks to those who come! (:

Here's what I think about time. The more you have time in your hands, the more you let it slip away. Just like how you try to collect more sand and how it overflows and escapes through the holes between your fingers. The time frame you envision is longer, thus, you do not keep pace. You think you can afford to let it slip away when in fact you can do more. The less time you have, the more you push yourself to work to keep pace, with the knowledge that time is unstoppable. This parallels with the whole idea of working under pressure. To be on your toes all the time. Aren't we all brought up in a society where everything's all so fast-paced? I'm slowly attaining epiphany with regards to PL2132. Jiayi has been really helpful. All you need in a working environment is really a good support system (: I'm experiencing mixed feelings the whole day today. Sometimes I wish I could fly away to somewhere where I know no one. And just spill everything that's on my mind (not ...

Clare I want to tell you again, I love you. Our love has been the thread through the labryinth, the net under the high-wire walker, the only real thing in this strange life of mine that I could ever trust. Tonight I feel that my love for you has more density in this world than I do, myself: as though it could linger on after me and surround you, keep you, hold you. I hate to think of you waiting. I know that you have been waiting for me all your life, always uncertain of how long this patch of waiting would be. Ten minutes, ten days. A month. What an uncertain husband I have been, Clare, like a sailor, Odysseus alone and buffeted by tall waves, sometimes wily and sometimes just a playing of the gods. Please, Clare. When I am dead. Stop waiting and be free. Of me- put me deep inside you and then go out in the world and live. Love the world and yourself in it, move through it as though it offers no resistance, as though the world is your natural element. I have given you a life of suspen...

Your head is only a physical entity but your mind contains a whirlwind of thoughts. It often fascinates me how much we can think in a day, limitless and boundless of things, some logical, some are processed midway and hanging, some totally nonsensical. Sometimes when you think so hard that your brain might explode and when you hope that there's an end to a thought, you realise that some things are infinite. Nevertheless, there is yet again the abhored phase of this period of time where you must set aside trivial thoughts in your head, just so you can focus on the more important things, your center. What is your center?

The seesaw totally tilts the other way because the festive spirit has lifted. On the eve of Eid, they were playing raya songs at Giant and in Westmall. I went to Geylang with ais for awhile. And of course the food that mom cooked, and the mass eid prayers in the morning really sets the mood. All I can say is we really had a fun, and laughter-filled eid! Anyway I'll let the pictures do the talking. I was unready in this picture heee. After mass prayers They were having heated discussion about the "harry potter" lookalike boy HAHA! Yum! With mom With the sisters! Ok finito. Whoever says that tertiary education is so much easier than jc are making an outright lie >.

I like lists today. 1) I noticed that it has been pouring on every other Friday morning, maybe in the afternoon (or just evidences that it rained). 2) The rumblings of my stomach have been heard by joy and jamie. But thank god they're friends and not strangers if not I'd just pretend the noises didn't come from me. 3) I am not prepared for raya at all. 4) I am more excited for recess week than hari raya; but we'll see again tomorrow if the see-saw tilts the other way. 5) Am happy to spend last night with nuurun/aalok/sieg/salihin/firdaus (except for mumu) after a long time! We're on the way to building a team guys (: 6) Is here to say that good sleep is predominantly a determinant of your mood. So now I'm pretty happy because I had a good one. 7) Is dissatisfied with stats quiz marks, and performance of french test (because I think I made silly mistakes I only realised after the test), but it's ok! Moving on. 8) I am sort of sad that my ramadhan has been fas...

The level of necessity for long, deep sleep has been upgraded to be on par with the necessity for air -.- But for now, nay. Last test before the recess week commences at 10 am later. need to stay positive

(Source: http://linhtran.tumblr.com) ANOVA, I shall be your new best friend. If you're that curious, ANOVA is not a person's name, it's just something... you gotta wiki it. If you're confused after having read any related materials of ANOVA, don't blame me hahhahaha. I refuse to go back to sleep because then there would be a case of an interrupted, un-peaceful sleep. Rather keep up with the awake status for now. I've a meeting at 9 am in school to revise our project proposal nyeh. Here's the deal. I guess if you're around arts long enough, you'll soon find yourself checking out girls more than guys. Not that the guys here are really that bad, it's not that at all. They dress well, some charismatic and yeah.. It's just that the ratio of girls and guys really suggests how outnumbered the guys are and I reckon that the majority happen to be more outstanding, and honestly, some arts girls are undeniably drop-dead gorgeous. Don't judge me, cos...

My mom's chicken rice is divinely delicious I can eat the rice by itself. I made myself a tumblr, cos it's really really darn cool. Well, I think the whole idea of tumblr is basically reposting people's entries, pictures, quotes and the likes. Since I've only started I'm only following one person, which is the admin staff. BWAHAHA. Do you know that Singapore comes in 7th place in Tumblarity? Tumblarity is a measure on the level of how active you are on Tumblr. Anyway, it's carbonara.tumblr But I'll still be blogging as per normal here (: I was fleeting with excitement yesterday because I finally borrowed french movies from Sitt, thanks girl! I especially wanted to watch Le Grand Voyage, basically about a father and son's journey to Mecca. Meanwhile, I should study for french test, complete genes assignment (this is a chore: writing at least 4 lines for 1-mark questions isn't worth it) and start dissecting my notes (really). I was at the bus stop near...

It is how a painting represents your life. The people in your life are like pastels splattered on a drawing block. You pick the best colours, the warmest colours for comfort, the brighter colours for zest and fun. To finish it up you sprinkle some colour to make the overall look lively. But when you add too many colours, you create noise in your painting. Suddenly your painting seems like a mess, perhaps a little bit crowded. And some colours may have diminished due to this effect. Because I think we don't need so many people in our life, we just need the best ones. Like colours, you'll always find yourself picking the ones you're most comfortable with. - I had the nicest fuzziest meet-up with aishah today, like finally! I've been trying to reach her through Bala about 3 times I think and finally she got herself a new phone and voila, we met up today. Why Bala? Cos he joined aishah at Borders. Discounts ah, thanks, lol! I finally bought my baju raya, which is pink by th...

Perhaps I've never had enough experience, perhaps I don't know so much about it. I don't know. But how does it really feel to have someone to be there for you with no obligations under any circumstances? I don't know why I must be thinking of these stuffs, especially last night before going to bed. But if I don't think about it I will explode with all the things I've absorbed from places, from movies, from books, from everywhere. How fingers are intertwined, how words spilling from one's lips can transform into a beautiful language of love, how immense the simplest of gestures can be. And suddenly I feel this need to do a lot of giving.

Amazing right!

Let's talk about absurdity. I had a dream a few days ago. And it was all about how I was given a lift in a mini cooper. Except that the mini cooper wasn't mini at all. When I peeked inside, there was a few rows of chairs, those of you see in movie theatres, and people were all filling up the seats. So funny! It was as though we were all going for a ride together. On that same night I had a nightmare, but when I woke up I only remembered remembering this dream about the colossal mini cooper, lmao. There was this other time when I was on the bus with alvin and jessie, and I was eating a date. I was offering jessie the date but she refused. So I said, "I know why you don't wanna eat the date, cos you think it looks like a cockroach right!" Then I heard this snigger from a boy in the bus who overheard our conversation, he was laughing about what I said! Then I realised how ludicrous of the idea of date looking like a cockroach. I think I kind of recalled once upon a t...

The first and the last one is damn funny HAHHAHAHA. LOL. I don't know what in the world this german lady was tickled with but it's contagious anyway. OMG, HORRIBLE CAN. The guy in yellow, that's really his laughter. He's from this clip called "Dad at comedy barn" something like that. And the last woman, hahhahaha, animal-sounding laughter? HAHA so mean, but their reaction funny.

Although people might have judged my dad as being a man of a few words, I on the other hand, have obviously seen him on the complete contrary. Sure perhaps you can say that whatever traits you can see through me exist in him as well. Talkativeness, sociableness and very laughable. When he sees people he knows, like his friends or relatives outside, he wears a genuine smile and approaches them. Sometimes my mom gets really annoyed by his social needs because he would take a very long time to finish socializing, but I can understand it. Anyway, despite these traits, my dad is still a man of a few words as a father. This shouldn't be confused with what you call; a lack of communication. Not at all. It's just that my dad speaks minimal, but despite this, he has his ways to get through me and my sisters. By asking how we are doing, by sending us emails on certain virtues and learning points and he understands without even saying so much (this can be seen especially when my mom and ...

This week I've been really enjoying going to school. Although I'm so far behind my readings, while I'm slowly catching them up, I've been really loving every minute of the time spent in school. Ok, don't start looking at me weird already. But these days are those days when I truly appreciate the campus lifestyle. But I guess I'll just yak about today. I went to french tutorial, had a nice debate over issues, and an after catch-up session at the deck with nicolas and amey (people who are truly enthusiastic about the language really, lol) and then headed to a project meeting which spells fun because things always end up in laughter, travelled to science with minqi and having nice conversations all the time, went for psychology tutorial and seeing tabby and melissa who happened to be my partners in crime for making noises in class. At the end of the day, met up with nuurun to congregate with the rest of the muslim cohort for a nice iftar (breaking fast session) at ...

A word's just a word Till you mean what you say And Love isn't love Till you give it away We've all got a give Yeah something to give to make a change * * * Can't seem to make myself go to bed, in an hour's time I have to get ready for school, starts at 10 today. How I exactly killed time from 6 am till now; Clean the laptop (it's white hence easily dirtied) Figure out the wireless bluetooth application in the laptop Transferred songs I'm currently hooked to from laptop to handphone via bluetooth YouTube-ing Practise verbal french - but this is of no use because whatever that I speak are simple stuffs nyehhh. And you know what I realised? Throughout the period of time I had unfortunately fell sick, which was about a week plus by the way, I have spent most of the time having my eyes plastered on the tv screen. Movies I've watched within a week (or so): You've Got Mail X-Men Bee Movie Horton 27 Dresses Pizza My Heart Mona Lisa's Smile Premonition T...

Once again the heavy downpour. Certainly the rhythmic sound of the rain, slapping against the floor, against the windows, have conjured images in our heads of the pleasant idea of sleeping, or reading with hot cocoa (but of course this wouldn't be possible due to fasting), or just snuggling up in bed. How nice. But here I am almost dressed and ready for school. I don't know why, but it has been quite some time since I felt like I've been in school, like proper school. Perhaps it's the three days mc I've got. But now, I feel like I'm energized despite fasting, all set and ready for school. The scent of cooking porridge and spaghetti made me all excited to get through 2 lectures, one meeting and a bus ride home back welcomed by the sumptuous breaking fast meal although I'd only be back by eight-ish. Today shall be the first in a long time I'd make an appearance in French class. It's been more than a week. Wish me luck that my temperature won't rise...