Sakinah Abdul Aziz

Several times the same question popped at the back of my head, "What did I just get myself into?" But there's no stopping now. There's only looking forward.

There are days when you feel like crawling into a deep hole, to stay there and to never leave. And you just want to let the world spin without you and you'd be more than happy to be missing out on it. I think this phenomenon is worth investigating; the one-week, delayed PMS. If there is such a thing, really. I have been having half-written entries stuck in my postings. I also realised that my blogging style has been pretty cryptic most of the time (or I try to be as much as I could). And if you don't think that my entries have been cryptic in nature, then I've failed to be a cryptic blogger as I aspired to be when I first started this. So anyway, it's about time I should publish something and not let this be stuck, halfway-written like some others. So anyway, I had a pretty good but tiring start to the semester last week, and perhaps there were just so many things that I feel so damn tired right now. It's as if school never really ended, you forgot that it actually ...

Sometimes I think, I think too much. But someday, you gotta be doing the questioning. And on top of that, you get answers. But I really do think too much. And I over-analyze. But then again, I get answers. And then, the emotions come.

Hello earthlings! Woa, just like that time flew. I withdrew myself from this blog and I realized that it REALLY does need a lot of updating. For one, I had a temporary job for 2 months at People's Association. I was back in the same department I worked in exactly a year ago. For another, there was one point in time when I thought my life was a mess, it wasn't all so long-lived though (or so I hope). As they say, when it rains, it pours. But also, there's this saying that time heals all wounds, and that there's always light at the end of the tunnel. I, for one, believe that there are truths in such cliché-d sayings. And also, I went to Bangkok for a short, awesome shopping trip. I honestly do not know how three months fly. I attempt to update my blog more, not for the sake of readers (I don't even know if there's anyone reading this anymore), but purely for myself. I remembered the humanistic feel I had a couple of years back, completely in touch with my feelings...

We often crave for just that one person ready to be all ours at the end of the day. Sometimes that's all we need, just one person, to talk about our day to, to unload the bulk of our minds and to hear us out. Just one person to build a special connection with and to drown in the pleasure of sharing, be it joy or sorrow. The one person you unveil yourselves to. Just one person and you don't need the world to complete your day. But today, tonight, I think I might just need that one person in the sharing of silenceness, a comfortable one. Because when you're suddenly verbally disabled and your energy couldn't suffice, you start to hold on to something greater. A communication like no other. And that is through silence. Why can't Singapore be dark enough so on this very night I can be overshadowed by a blanket of stars?

Screw social norms and standards. Screw benchmarks and expectations. Screw insincerity and facades. Screw superficiality. Screw empty words and empty promises. Screw people who come only when they need you. Screw greed, self-centeredness and narcissisms. Screw betrayals. Screw pride and arrogance. Screw hyprocricy and double standards. Screw rejection and exclusivity. Screw hostility. Screw those who turned their backs on you when you need them the most. Just screw 'em all really. I think people should also screw this in their heads; that doesn't mean others who naturally put up a strong front and show high resilience after a horrible event/incident should give them ANY excuses to think that these people are ok just so that they are not saddled with guilt. That is just one bad excuse. Wait, that is not even a freaking excuse. And to all of you who are hurt/trampled upon/used/betrayed/etc. and who just do that silently, you should stop doing that and start giving people a piece ...

In the years to come will you think about these moments that we shared In the years to come are you gonna think it over And how we lived each day with no regrets Nothing lasts forever though we want it to The road ahead holds different dreams for me and you In a year from now maybe there'll be things we'll wish we never said In a year from now maybe we'll see each other Standing on the same street corner No regrets Each and every end is always written in the stars If only I could stop the world I'd make this last Sometimes goodbye Though it hurts in you heart is the only way for destiny Sometimes goodbye Though it hurts is the only way now for you and me Though it's the hardest thing to say I'll miss your love in every way So say goodbye but don't you cry cause true love never dies - Say Goodbye, S Club Pardon for the recent, random emotional posts, but ah well. Life's like that isn't it? We all each have our highs and lows. There are days when you j...