Skip to main content

As though it offers no resistance

Clare I want to tell you again, I love you. Our love has been the thread through the labryinth, the net under the high-wire walker, the only real thing in this strange life of mine that I could ever trust. Tonight I feel that my love for you has more density in this world than I do, myself: as though it could linger on after me and surround you, keep you, hold you.

I hate to think of you waiting. I know that you have been waiting for me all your life, always uncertain of how long this patch of waiting would be. Ten minutes, ten days. A month. What an uncertain husband I have been, Clare, like a sailor, Odysseus alone and buffeted by tall waves, sometimes wily and sometimes just a playing of the gods. Please, Clare. When I am dead. Stop waiting and be free. Of me- put me deep inside you and then go out in the world and live. Love the world and yourself in it, move through it as though it offers no resistance, as though the world is your natural element. I have given you a life of suspended animation. I don't mean to say that you have done nothing. You have created beauty, and meaning, in your art, and Alba, who is so amazing, and for me you have been everything.

Last summer, I was sitting in Kendrick's waiting room when I suddenly found myself in a dark hallway in a house I don't know. I was sort of tangled up in a bunch of galoshes, and it smelled like rain. At the end of the hall I could see a rim of light around a door, and so I went very slowly and very quietly to the door and looked in. The room was white, and intensely lit with morning sun. At the window, with her back to me, sat a woman, wearing a coral-colored cardigan sweater, with long white hair all down her back. She had a cup of tea beside her... she turned and saw me, and I saw her, and it was you, Clare, this was you as an old woman, in the future. It was sweet, Clare, it was sweet beyond telling, to come as though from death to hold you, and to see the years all present in your face. I won't tell you any more, so you can imagine it, so you can have it unrehearsed when the time comes, as it will, as it does come. We will see each other again, Clare. Until then, live, fully, present in the world, which is so beautiful.

It's dark. now, and I am very tired. I love you, always. Time is nothing.

Henry.


The Time Traveller's Wife - Audrey Niffenegger


I really like this excerpt, very very extremely much. Isn't language so powerful? This is the reason why I'm excited for tomorrow cos I'll finally be catching The Time Traveller's Wife with Katty! Let's see if I weep like how I did on the pages of the book.

Today was relatively a more productive day than any other days this week. Had a 3-people meeting (HAHAHHA) with muriel and aalok and we decided to study after that. Insane would be a word to sum up today. I finally ate engine's creamy pasta, yum! This morning I received a rather strange phone call from an unknown number and having picked it up, a voice sang to a random hari raya song. And it was AZFAR! So random, we end up talking about random things. And Audrey Tautou is really hot in Priceless, seriously. Ah la vache!


Photobucket

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Artichoke

HAHA! Si tu le dis : you know what archuleta sounds like Si tu le dis : it sounds like artichokes sakinah : what! sakinah : HAHA sakinah : YEAH! sakinah : the french vegetable! Si tu le dis : thus, vegetables. As a matter of fact, I did taste artichoke, and it's pretty good. Very delicious vegetable indeed, right Alvin? HAHAHAH!

Back to basics

Once again the heavy downpour. Certainly the rhythmic sound of the rain, slapping against the floor, against the windows, have conjured images in our heads of the pleasant idea of sleeping, or reading with hot cocoa (but of course this wouldn't be possible due to fasting), or just snuggling up in bed. How nice. But here I am almost dressed and ready for school. I don't know why, but it has been quite some time since I felt like I've been in school, like proper school. Perhaps it's the three days mc I've got. But now, I feel like I'm energized despite fasting, all set and ready for school. The scent of cooking porridge and spaghetti made me all excited to get through 2 lectures, one meeting and a bus ride home back welcomed by the sumptuous breaking fast meal although I'd only be back by eight-ish. Today shall be the first in a long time I'd make an appearance in French class. It's been more than a week. Wish me luck that my temperature won't rise...

Coincidence helps you in some way

There's this guy who happens to be in the same stats and developmental psych tutorial as me, and we knew each other through those classes. So after our class yesterday, we happened to board the same bus, happened to go to the same place, and happened to need to deposit money as well. I brought half of my wad of notes from money I collected from Hari Raya and the money I received from tuition too. Anyway, thankfully for the guy, he told me that the machine does not accept 5-dollar, and 2-dollar notes and MAJORITY of the thick wad of notes I brought were. Can you imagine how stupid I would look if I were to put the whole wad of notes there and they would all be rejected? And I had FORGOTTEN about it, so dumb please. You know, families should give you $10 notes instead of $2s (HAHA). So geez, I only managed to bank in abit only. After everything, the guy had to go for his taekwondo classes and I'm meeting Qeen, AND after spoken about exams, exchange programmes, past schools, bad ...