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As though it offers no resistance

Clare I want to tell you again, I love you. Our love has been the thread through the labryinth, the net under the high-wire walker, the only real thing in this strange life of mine that I could ever trust. Tonight I feel that my love for you has more density in this world than I do, myself: as though it could linger on after me and surround you, keep you, hold you.

I hate to think of you waiting. I know that you have been waiting for me all your life, always uncertain of how long this patch of waiting would be. Ten minutes, ten days. A month. What an uncertain husband I have been, Clare, like a sailor, Odysseus alone and buffeted by tall waves, sometimes wily and sometimes just a playing of the gods. Please, Clare. When I am dead. Stop waiting and be free. Of me- put me deep inside you and then go out in the world and live. Love the world and yourself in it, move through it as though it offers no resistance, as though the world is your natural element. I have given you a life of suspended animation. I don't mean to say that you have done nothing. You have created beauty, and meaning, in your art, and Alba, who is so amazing, and for me you have been everything.

Last summer, I was sitting in Kendrick's waiting room when I suddenly found myself in a dark hallway in a house I don't know. I was sort of tangled up in a bunch of galoshes, and it smelled like rain. At the end of the hall I could see a rim of light around a door, and so I went very slowly and very quietly to the door and looked in. The room was white, and intensely lit with morning sun. At the window, with her back to me, sat a woman, wearing a coral-colored cardigan sweater, with long white hair all down her back. She had a cup of tea beside her... she turned and saw me, and I saw her, and it was you, Clare, this was you as an old woman, in the future. It was sweet, Clare, it was sweet beyond telling, to come as though from death to hold you, and to see the years all present in your face. I won't tell you any more, so you can imagine it, so you can have it unrehearsed when the time comes, as it will, as it does come. We will see each other again, Clare. Until then, live, fully, present in the world, which is so beautiful.

It's dark. now, and I am very tired. I love you, always. Time is nothing.

Henry.


The Time Traveller's Wife - Audrey Niffenegger


I really like this excerpt, very very extremely much. Isn't language so powerful? This is the reason why I'm excited for tomorrow cos I'll finally be catching The Time Traveller's Wife with Katty! Let's see if I weep like how I did on the pages of the book.

Today was relatively a more productive day than any other days this week. Had a 3-people meeting (HAHAHHA) with muriel and aalok and we decided to study after that. Insane would be a word to sum up today. I finally ate engine's creamy pasta, yum! This morning I received a rather strange phone call from an unknown number and having picked it up, a voice sang to a random hari raya song. And it was AZFAR! So random, we end up talking about random things. And Audrey Tautou is really hot in Priceless, seriously. Ah la vache!


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