Sakinah Abdul Aziz

The best thing about the monsoon season is that you can never fail to notice if a day is a bright, sunny, beautiful day. Like yesterday. It didn't rain the whole day and I could get back to the office from lunch without having to cab back because of a sudden heavy downpour, which was usually the case for these past few weeks. It is such a rarity to see a clear blue sky here and a couple of my colleagues and I were just gazing at the sky. There were really white, fluffy clouds and the best thing about clouds is they could be anything you make them out to be, anything you want them to be. And the warmth was so comforting yesterday, I just wanted to stay out in the afternoon if I could.

I must say that my last week of October was eventful. There were days that were enriching, and there were days that were fun-filled. Things at work underwent major restructuring and there was a huge event where everyone came together as one, one last time. Didn't sign up for any activities on that day, but spontaneously ended up learning introductory Salsa and did archery. Super duper fun. Caught David Cook live. I was really contented because he played about like, 10 songs. I must say it was worth waiting 2 hours for him to finally appear on stage. Thanks to a close friend who asked me to come along and follow her for this event because she's a major David Cook fan. The last time I saw him was through a video conferencing the same friend won tickets for. Was invited for an interfaith dialogue (Islam-Judaism) at a synagogue. Very eye-opening as I've never stepped into one before, and I certainly have never met or spoken to a rabbi before. Had kosher food, and of course...

'Cause there is nothing more beautiful than the way the ocean refuses to stop kissing the shoreline no matter how many times it's sent away.  - Sarah Kay - The stars almost never shine, and the sky is always bright here. But the best way to chill after work is to spend a couple of days in a week to really lie down and gaze at the night sky despite all that. To distance yourself away from the crowd and to embrace silence and quietude. With the best of company. To walk to a nice park and lay down the mat by the lake, and to eat rich chocolatey cakes and oily, soggy fries. To fill the silence with basic catching up, to deeper conversations about life, to spazzing about the favourite lines and scenes from The Notebook, and back to comfortable silences. To feel the breeze seep into the bones and to enjoy the moment of tranquility with just the wind, the water, and to feel the body so close to nature, while lying on the ground. To watch the silhouette of the trees against the re...

Do you have lingering thoughts in your heads whenever you bid farewell to someone? A loved one, a family member, a dear friend, a recently made acquaintance, and a stranger whom you barely know? At least I know I do have them. There are some farewells when we would go our separate ways, and there would be thoughts like, "Should I turn back?" and "Will the person turn back, too? To share that one last goodbye for the day?". There are some farewells where I would board the bus first, or leave the train first and I would wonder, "Should I search for that person amidst the crowd?" and "Will the person scan her or his eyes to meet mine, too?". There are some farewells when I would enter the lift and I would wonder, "Will the person stay, to have our eyes interlocked and to be smiling at each other, till I go out of the person's sight?" And there are instances when I would doubt, "Oh, the person probably wouldn't turn back, or ...

There's this tinge of sadness that Ramadhan is coming to an end. This time round it stems from the fact that I wished I could have done so much more and make it so much more fulfilling. To attain fulfillment not only in the spiritual sense, but fulfillment in my way of life, in the pursuit of a better quality of life. There are always learning points and it is very timely that this period is somewhat marked by some crossroads. I faced certain dilemmas as to doing certain things, I ended having to do another round of soul-searching, putting myself out in a rather vulnerable position, and reflecting upon things in life that have made me questioned a lot. Through such process, it is never easy to attain tranquility. Sometimes when the mind is not at rest, the heart cannot follow suit. But thank God, there were a few nights I attained that, and I should be thankful enough to have at least some days of peace. It's hard to let go especially when I started the month with clear intent...

I'm beginning to value my weekends more than ever. You see, when you jump straight from school and do an internship (which pays you just enough to cover your lunch) and experience the time constraints as a result, you really need to hold dear to your weekends. I love the weekends. It's about the only time you can catch up with your loved ones properly and give undivided attention. And most importantly, you can catch up with yourself. It doesn't really have to be anything remarkably adventurous or exciting. It could be a similar itinerary every week but what's important is you love and enjoy every moment spent with whoever you're spending your weekend with. It could be sitting in front of the tv watching Sheldon Cooper's pesky antics. It could be discovering how your sibling has similar music taste as you. It could be jogging around a nice park in attempts to burn some calories to get back in shape. It could be picking up a book that was put away and trying to...

There are reasons why certain people are so special and that you can immediately set them apart from the rest. Of course there are the good times; they bring joy, warmth and comfort, but it's also these same people who make you vulnerable/feel vulnerable in many bittersweet ways. It is these few people who can really surprise you with your capacity to allow yourselves to bask in this vulnerability despite knowing the associated risks that may come along. It's like scraping the different epidermal layers of your skin, and exposing them bit by bit until you've arrived at the innermost layer where you are most vulnerable to pathogens. It is with these people you can be completely yourself with and through being comfortable, you gradually expose some flaws, weaknesses, habits, weird tendencies and silly antics along the way. Other people can easily shoot you down, some may leave you, criticize you, bring you down but these people acknowledge and embrace them and perhaps shoot y...

Turning another year older gets more trivial as the years went by, but we learn to cherish the simple things in life. Like the beautiful people I'm continually blessed with; my parents and my family who have made the person that I've become today, my awesome friends with their heartwarming words that never fail to put a huge smile on my face, and to be blessed with a comfortable, mediocre life. Most importantly, I thank God for allowing me to live 23 years of this temporary life, which is so beautiful. All I'm looking forward to is a lifelong learning journey ahead to be filled with amazing experiences and opportunities coming my way for grabs, so that I know I live life to its fullest. And so I'd learn a thing or two about what life really is about, and that I could grow wiser, stronger in faith, a more contented individual and in general a better person. There's really nothing more I could say, but to say my utmost thanks. - 23 years old, and am still dreamy....