Sakinah Abdul Aziz

I felt very inspired a few nights ago after I met up with a very close friend who had shared a great deal about her life journey. Her life journey, although cannot be identical to my own, somehow resonates with me. And to see how this person grows after having experienced from one ordeal to another, and now has attained so much joy and peace, only confirm my outlook in life. There will be times when we will be afflicted with trials and tribulations, and that the world may seem bleak, but only through these times, we can actually find strength. Although intuitively, we all know how it really feels when life sucks. We feel we are plummeting into this deep, dark, black hole and everything else will be a downward spiral just when we think that that is the end of it all. The most re-assuring thing is, there is no other way to go because that's the bottomest kiddo. We can only head towards that one direction, and that is to keep going up. And the next re-assuring thing is, only through...

Often we hear of the challenges in the pursuit of happiness. But I think the difficulty lies in the pursuit of inner peace, not the pursuit of happiness. If your heart and mind is at rest, there lies contentment, and ultimately, you will naturally feel the glow of happiness. Seek for inner peace. If something is troubling you and it is disrupting your state of tranquility, there is then very little room for happiness. Happiness will not be possible if the body, mind and soul is not at rest. Seek for inner peace and find balance. Only then you'll find happiness.

The heart is a confusing, altering thing. No state is forever. No state of bliss lasts forever. But no state of pain does either. They all pass. So if you experience happiness, ask Allah to make it forever in jennah. And if you experience sadness, ask Allah to make it a means of purification and elevation for you. And know that this too shall pass.  -Yasmin Mogahed

“The resting place of the mind is the heart. The only thing the mind hears all day is clanging bells and noise and argument, and all it wants is quietude. The only place the mind will ever find peace is inside the silence of the heart. That's where you need to go.” ― Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love

There are reasons why certain people are so special and that you can immediately set them apart from the rest. Of course there are the good times; they bring joy, warmth and comfort, but it's also these same people who make you vulnerable/feel vulnerable in many bittersweet ways. It is these few people who can really surprise you with your capacity to allow yourselves to bask in this vulnerability despite knowing the associated risks that may come along. It's like scraping the different epidermal layers of your skin, and exposing them bit by bit until you've arrived at the innermost layer where you are most vulnerable to pathogens. It is with these people you can be completely yourself with and through being comfortable, you gradually expose some flaws, weaknesses, habits, weird tendencies and silly antics along the way. Other people can easily shoot you down, some may leave you, criticize you, bring you down but these people acknowledge and embrace them and perhaps shoot y...

There are days when you feel like crawling into a deep hole, to stay there and to never leave. And you just want to let the world spin without you and you'd be more than happy to be missing out on it. I think this phenomenon is worth investigating; the one-week, delayed PMS. If there is such a thing, really. I have been having half-written entries stuck in my postings. I also realised that my blogging style has been pretty cryptic most of the time (or I try to be as much as I could). And if you don't think that my entries have been cryptic in nature, then I've failed to be a cryptic blogger as I aspired to be when I first started this. So anyway, it's about time I should publish something and not let this be stuck, halfway-written like some others. So anyway, I had a pretty good but tiring start to the semester last week, and perhaps there were just so many things that I feel so damn tired right now. It's as if school never really ended, you forgot that it actually ...

Cos I'm really a sucker for beautifully written love letters. Why oh why. My Dearest Allie, I couldn’t sleep last night because I know that it’s over between us. I’m not bitter anymore, because I know that what we had was real. And if in some distant place in the future we see each other in our new lives, I’ll smile at you with joy and remember how we spent the summer beneath the trees, learning from each other and growing in love. The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds, and that’s what you’ve given me. That’s what I hope to give to you forever. I love you. I’ll be seeing you. Noah

In no particular order: Making someone smile Seeing strangers smile back at you Rolling your tongue over heavily syrup-coated Baklavas from Turkey Basking under the Sun on the Lazy River like a boss Deep conversations 1-to-1 McNuggets Baking something for the first time and then eating your very own product immediately the moment you've done your finishing touches Licking cheese cream frosting from your index finger from a very fine tupperware Watching Bean movie with the sister and laughing away as if it was the first time watching it Taking your time to shop and trying on every single apparel you love as if you own the hours on the clock, on a perfect weekday Roaming Town alone and going anywhere you want to Seeing how your unread, good books are piling up and loving the idea of books waiting on you Spending late nights just talking Getting out from the bed to drag yourself for breakfast dates Heading to the airport not only to send/fetch people, but really to just be at the air...

"The minute I heard my first love story, I started looking for you, not knowing how blind that was. Lovers don't finally meet somewhere. They're in each other all along." - Rumi, The Illuminated Rumi

Sometimes, He breaks our spirit to save our soul. Sometimes, He breaks our heart to make us whole. Sometimes, He allows pain so we can be stronger. Sometimes, He sends us failure so we can be humble. Sometimes, He allows illness so we can take better care of ourselves. And sometimes, He takes everything away from us... so we can learn the value of everything He gave us Make plans, but understand that we live by His grace. Although they plan, Allah also plans. And Allah is the Best of Planners. [Holy Qur'an 8:30]

ser·en·dip·i·ty [ ser- uh n- dip -i-tee ] noun 1. an aptitude for making desirable discoveries by accident. 2. good fortune; luck So a friend of mine asked if I believe in serendipity. I'm beginning to think that serendipity.. it does exist.

I would think that most of the chapters of our lives have their very special or unique or tragic or ordinary, rightful endings, like the end of secondary school, the end of a beautiful trip, the end of a suffering. I think that closure is a very important notion in our lives. Often we think of closure as something negative when it actually forms the very process of life. If we don't have closure, then we're not really moving on with that particular phase in our lives, like how we're still holding onto the book without being able to turn the pages because we're still stuck on that chapter. Because closure indicates a new beginning. And typically I started analyzing back upon which there could have been a closure. So could it be that the story hasn't ended yet?

I am so inspired to write probably a short, brief entry on extroverts and our biases about them. It is just an observation that I thought would be worthy to write about, just because (and that I refuse to study right now). Also, I've always been intrigued about people's personality and how these portrayals of "self" can actually influence how others may treat you the way they do. And lastly, while extroversion has its positive connotations, there are some dark sides as well. Based on the layman's definition of 'extrovert', it simply describes a person who is energized by being around other people. So what I think could potentially be a bad thing for extroverts is how people form erroneous impressions of them that might undermine the true substance that makes up the person himself. What I mean by this is how people can easily arrive to the conclusion that just because extroverts possess a relatively wider circle of friends, they do not strive for depths in ...

Oasis says "Don't Look Back In Anger". But have you ever looked back and feel that if you've been given another chance to relive your life, you will not change a thing? It's Friday today. Well, I would say that it's been a pretty ordinary day. Had to force myself out of bed and I attempted to be in school by 9 am but failed miserably (as did everyone else in my group) for a project meeting. Had to brave the crowd to get to the science faculty to get my laptop fixed. Typically, my day in school revolves around readings, groupmates, and just awesome people I love to socialize with. If there's one thing I feel grateful for, it would really be the people in it. I have mentioned this number of times before; that if I don't feel socially connected, it's as good as saying that I'm dead. So I am eternally grateful for people who make school bearable. Anyway cutting to the chase, the reason why I brought up the question at the very first paragraph is be...

Hello earthlings! Woa, just like that time flew. I withdrew myself from this blog and I realized that it REALLY does need a lot of updating. For one, I had a temporary job for 2 months at People's Association. I was back in the same department I worked in exactly a year ago. For another, there was one point in time when I thought my life was a mess, it wasn't all so long-lived though (or so I hope). As they say, when it rains, it pours. But also, there's this saying that time heals all wounds, and that there's always light at the end of the tunnel. I, for one, believe that there are truths in such cliché-d sayings. And also, I went to Bangkok for a short, awesome shopping trip. I honestly do not know how three months fly. I attempt to update my blog more, not for the sake of readers (I don't even know if there's anyone reading this anymore), but purely for myself. I remembered the humanistic feel I had a couple of years back, completely in touch with my feelings...

I know I haven't been blogging for at least a month. Falling sick is indeed a double-edged sword cos for one, I have a reason to slow down and rest. I realised I haven't done some of the things I totally deserve, like catching up on Glee, and perhaps this blog, which I've been neglecting a lot, woops. There has been a lot of good music lately. I chanced into this one. Nearly screamed cos it's REGINA SPEKTOR MEETS RADIOHEAD! She did a cover on 'No Surprises'. Awesome or what!? Regina, please come to Singapore!! If it's anyone, it should be her because she's an exquisite singer. So on updates, there has been a lot going on lately. Deadlines, assignments, presentations. A traumatizing encounter with a stranger. And, a sudden death of a friend. May he rest in peace. Dear God, please heal the people who love him and may they move on with their lives for in Hereafter, we shall all meet again. Death has been a looming subject at one point of time. It has ingrai...

I cannot imagine life without girlfriends and the many wonderful things associated with it. Heart-to-heart talks, giggly giggles, genuinity, deep conversations, compassion, having them to relate extremely well with you, being silly together, doing many million girly (or non-girly) things, gossiping (yes this is bad but I am certain every girl does it), story sharing, warm hugs, sleepovers, comfortable silences, squeals, being there for each other NO MATTER WHAT, talking about everything under the Sun knowing they won't EVER judge you, boy talk, boy crushes, celebrity crushes, window shopping, shopping.. uh shopping? It's like there's this bond and camaraderie only girls understand. And I'd say that we should be thankful to have the amazing girls to whom we can do all these with.

For all the times we have forgotten you, or neglected you, You have never left us, deserted us, or forgotten us. Thank you, God. Many times over.

I've been thinking alot about this whole notion of 'change' as of late. Funny why I didn't think much of it when Dr Lehman was talking about it a whole lot in my MNO lectures as I do now. Thanks to his inspiring lectures which were apparently sticky, I can still remember what he said. People often think that we are resistant to change, that people crawl back to their old routines and bad habits die hard, but perhaps we have under-evaluated the need for change and our ability to embrace change. The best example Dr Lehman has always used to illustrate how simple change can be is how he had made the lifelong decision to marry his dear wife he has spoken alot of endearingly in our lectures. THAT is change, but not that hard apparently ey? Again, he used another example; pertaining to his career and that some changes are required. The main question I want to pose is, how can we embrace change? It never occurred to me how un-volatile I can be. I've always thought that I...

"Destiny, I feel, is also a relationship - a play between divine grace and willful self-effort. Half of it you have no control over; half of it is absolutely in your hands, and your actions will show measurable consequence. Man is neither entirely a puppet of the gods, nor is he entirely the captain of his own destiny; he's a little of both. We gallop through our lives like circus performers balancing on two speeding side-by-side horse called "free will". And the question you have to ask every day is - which horse is which? Which horse do I need to stop worrying about because it's not under my control, and which do I need to steer with concentrated effort? There is so much about fate that I cannot control, but other things do fall under my jurisdiction. There are certain lottery tickets I can buy, thereby increasing my odds of finding contentment. I can decide how I spend my time, whom I interact with, whom I share my body and life and money and energy with. I ca...