Sakinah Abdul Aziz

I believe I've always been a spontaneous person and my close friends could attest to that. I love diving into stuff without having much proper advanced planning. Although for most stuff I do appreciate some general, structure or brief sketches here and there, I don't quite fancy too structured or too detailed planning because they don't quite turn out the way you expect them to and it could kill potential elements of surprise and adventure. But somehow since the past year, I have lost this so-called spontaneous tendencies. That is not surprising since executing spontaneous-ness would require a great deal of time in our hands. Anyway, I absolutely loved how I managed to slowly regain back this spontaneous-ness recently, almost effortlessly. My mom and I booked a flight to Langkawi 2 days prior to the date of departure, I booked a room at a beach resort 1 day prior to arriving there, I decided to catch The Internship while I was at work right about 5:50pm, for the 6:50pm...

There is something about the nature that is so alluring, so calming and so awe-inspiring. I give my sincerest and greatest thanks to the very person who used to bring me to listen to the sound of the waves, to be near calming waters, to bask in the glory of sunshine in appreciating the trees and the clear blue skies, and to discover the beauty of the darkest nights by gazing at the stars and the moon shining brilliantly. It was then when I discovered this side of me who is truly inspired by the wonders of nature. To uncover this side of me is truly a gift. And the heart just yearns to gain nearness and closeness to nature everytime. Thank you. Recently during one of the last few days of Ramadhan, I was reminded by this scholar who spoke about nature which almost brought me to tears upon the realization of how truly, it is one of the greatest signs of all creation. And that indeed, the sun, the moon, the planets and all that is in the nature, follow a specific system by which, o...

Although there are some days when I feel like pulling my hair, or finding myself sounding super-duper firm that I scare myself and having a headache thereafter, and having to adjust back to being compassionate through advising and counselling, I feel so thankful to be able to meet different people from all sorts of backgrounds. They can add on to my pile of work, just by conveniently deciding to break the law again, or run away from Singapore. I have people who would make me laugh, just because the things they say are so innocently funny and how they make me smile, when they share with me what they had done with their families over the weekends, or what they have learnt from the programmes and courses. Or when I have to give a warning when the most ridiculous excuse thrown at me for not turning up for reporting was "I don't want you to work late ah Ma'am, I feel bad." and anyhow decided on my behalf. I enjoy learning from the streetwise people, and especially from m...

The other day, I visited the dentist. She's my newfound favourite dentist because she not only does her job just by examining teeth and calls it a day, she would further explain and educate me on what she had done to my teeth and plus, she's really nice. But that day, it was a painful visit. The dentist hit a very sensitive part of my gum near the upper front teeth, and as natural as it was, tears started flowing down my cheeks that even the assistant had to wipe them off for me as the dentist was still cleaning my teeth. I told the dentist afterwards, "I'm so sorry I teared. I just... had to. It was so painful." I was still surprised at myself because I never had the intention to cry, it was something beyond my control. It was merely a physiological reaction. Just like how our eyes start to tear when we cut onions. I went home that night thinking so much about tears. I thought about the times when I cried. Why do we cry? Why was this reaction even created? It...

I must say that my last week of October was eventful. There were days that were enriching, and there were days that were fun-filled. Things at work underwent major restructuring and there was a huge event where everyone came together as one, one last time. Didn't sign up for any activities on that day, but spontaneously ended up learning introductory Salsa and did archery. Super duper fun. Caught David Cook live. I was really contented because he played about like, 10 songs. I must say it was worth waiting 2 hours for him to finally appear on stage. Thanks to a close friend who asked me to come along and follow her for this event because she's a major David Cook fan. The last time I saw him was through a video conferencing the same friend won tickets for. Was invited for an interfaith dialogue (Islam-Judaism) at a synagogue. Very eye-opening as I've never stepped into one before, and I certainly have never met or spoken to a rabbi before. Had kosher food, and of course...

Say hello to the girl who cuts apples with fangs. About more than a week ago, I was arrowed to bring something for breakfast before the meeting yesterday, halloween-themed. So a dear good friend of mine sent me this link for ideas. Really creative and cute right? Anyhow, I decided to make monster jaws out of apples after some persuasion by a couple of colleagues who were in charge of the breakfast. And mine turned out like this (photo credits to a colleague). LAWLS. I tried my best. Although this was a far cry from what I intended to make. Anyway, by lunchtime where there was a steamboat lunch in the office, I was officially known by everyone in the staff lounge as the 'girl who cuts apples with fangs'. So it turned out that I was the only one who brought something halloween-themed. Another colleague was supposed to bring a pumpkin cake but that didn't work out. There was even a joke that if anyone needs apples with fangs, "Sakinah would gladly do it at 5...

I felt very inspired a few nights ago after I met up with a very close friend who had shared a great deal about her life journey. Her life journey, although cannot be identical to my own, somehow resonates with me. And to see how this person grows after having experienced from one ordeal to another, and now has attained so much joy and peace, only confirm my outlook in life. There will be times when we will be afflicted with trials and tribulations, and that the world may seem bleak, but only through these times, we can actually find strength. Although intuitively, we all know how it really feels when life sucks. We feel we are plummeting into this deep, dark, black hole and everything else will be a downward spiral just when we think that that is the end of it all. The most re-assuring thing is, there is no other way to go because that's the bottomest kiddo. We can only head towards that one direction, and that is to keep going up. And the next re-assuring thing is, only through...

Hello earthlings! Woa, just like that time flew. I withdrew myself from this blog and I realized that it REALLY does need a lot of updating. For one, I had a temporary job for 2 months at People's Association. I was back in the same department I worked in exactly a year ago. For another, there was one point in time when I thought my life was a mess, it wasn't all so long-lived though (or so I hope). As they say, when it rains, it pours. But also, there's this saying that time heals all wounds, and that there's always light at the end of the tunnel. I, for one, believe that there are truths in such cliché-d sayings. And also, I went to Bangkok for a short, awesome shopping trip. I honestly do not know how three months fly. I attempt to update my blog more, not for the sake of readers (I don't even know if there's anyone reading this anymore), but purely for myself. I remembered the humanistic feel I had a couple of years back, completely in touch with my feelings...

I am lacking of sleep. Jiayee just left Singapore this morning, and she left, for good :( Adieu my dearest friend, hope you'll settle in pretty well in Perth! For kpo people, no, I am not graduating yet. I bravely withdrew my graduation at the Dean's Office yesterday morning, not knowing what to expect this coming academic year. Ever since Monday morning, there's this mixture of looming fear and excitement that never seemed to go away. I am afraid of uncertainties. But a few awesome people told me to go for it, and to grab this opportunity. Yes, life is a learning experience. I have to face challenges head on. I just need to believe that I can do this. Also, if you're wondering about my French international exam.. As I told those who asked me about it, it was pretty challenging and tough. I have this feeling that it might be difficult to pass, but in the event that I fail, at least I know I tried my best. I only came to realise from this particular event that it's r...

Awesome awesome awesome. Ok as many of you have guessed, my finals were over since last Friday, ending with social psych paper. I rather not talk about how my papers went, but more of how this semester went. I think school as of this year was rather happening (only intermittently of course, but very memorable), since predominantly, it's been filled with school shitloads. Last semester was great as I had numerous outings with ze french peeps and the nusha gang, this semester seems to lack of those since ze french gang flew off to France for exchange. But the best part about this sem is really the joy of learning although Dr Penney's midterm paper was a killer, french 5 seemed a little demanding, and MNO was just full of projects and time-consuming and the many projects and presentations I've had. But they were all awesome! Bottomline is, the equation will always be learning > studying, hands down. It may seem, on the surface, that I'm biased towards my own major, but ...

Just the urge to blog a few things. 1) I realise that Caucasian men seem to look better as they age. Why oh why. Hugh Grant. Hugh Jackman. Mr Shuester. Brad Pitt. And yeah, some other people. Like perhaps some of the professors in school, hmm. 2) But I like boys too. Andrew Garfield! Ok technically, he's 27, but very boyish look! If you're wondering where I found him, he stars in Social Networking! Awesome show with quirks here and there. He might star in Spiderman 3D in 2012. 3) Rainy weather = nostalgic! When I was in Paris, it kept raining cats and dogs, and somehow I seem to associate rain to Paris, not in a bad way though, in a good way because I love how rain gives you chills and forces you to keep yourself warm and snuggle. And when I thought of Paris, I thought of Endless Love by Mariah Carey. Amazing how we can associate unrelated things. But yes, I'm feeling nostalgic, and feeling all so good now listening to Mr Shuester's version of Endless Love (with rachel)...

Well, it's been way too long isn't it? Let's see. 4th week of school was so passé and I've begun to feel slightly worried about my schoolwork cos I haven't really done much about it. And also, it's been a week since I've bidded farewell to my dear Beninois. I've been busy with YOG ever since its opening ceremony. I used to tell Kai Teng during one of the June/July trainings that we attended, that I never felt any form of satisfaction attending any of those. But once the olympics commenced, I feel the satisfaction sinking in bit by bit. First of all, I had access to the village, which is an atmosphere you'd want to sense every single day. Ok, at least for me, I love the international feel of it. You walk along those long corridors of NIE, and you see people of different colours speaking different languages. Trust me, I'll never look at NIE the same way again. It's like a mini world. With people exchanging pins, basking in the culture of others...

"Destiny, I feel, is also a relationship - a play between divine grace and willful self-effort. Half of it you have no control over; half of it is absolutely in your hands, and your actions will show measurable consequence. Man is neither entirely a puppet of the gods, nor is he entirely the captain of his own destiny; he's a little of both. We gallop through our lives like circus performers balancing on two speeding side-by-side horse called "free will". And the question you have to ask every day is - which horse is which? Which horse do I need to stop worrying about because it's not under my control, and which do I need to steer with concentrated effort? There is so much about fate that I cannot control, but other things do fall under my jurisdiction. There are certain lottery tickets I can buy, thereby increasing my odds of finding contentment. I can decide how I spend my time, whom I interact with, whom I share my body and life and money and energy with. I ca...

So here's basically what sums up my Sunway getaway: - Sleeping late - And with that, of course waking up around noon almost everyday - Playing Monopoly Deal till late nights/early mornings - Social networking - And by this, knowing Kiki's circle of friends in Sunway, thank you for making my stay awesomest! (: Kiki has awesome housemates and her roommate from Sabah is hilariously expressive! - How I Met Your Mother marathon. In need to finish up Season 5 before the semester starts! - Karaoke with an unbelievable, cheap cost of 5 Sg bucks somewhere in Sunway Pyramid. It's not even those shady-looking karaokes, it's actually better than decent. Zomg, why is karaoke in Singapore so bloody expensive?! - Had the best of both worlds of food. Hands down, nothing can ever beat hawker centre food with sumptuous home-cooked meals. It makes me feel closer to home. And for what felt like the longest time ever, I finally taste the best Nasi Padang with awesome belachan! Everything fo...

Visualize a baby bottle, you know, with the pacifier and all that. Apparently I have a natural knack of being picked to do silly things. It was Sangi's awesome 21st birthday party last night at Sentosa. And one of the games during the party consists of 'quenching one's thirst' by drinking a baby bottle full of coke. The first one to finish the bottle wins. YES, I WAS CHOSEN TO DO THAT. OMG! My mouth was sore halfway through the game. I never intended to win this (against 4 other competitors), because firstly, I hate coke but since this is warm coke it was pretty alright though, and secondly, to drink from a BABY BOTTLE? Why, I must applaud Sangi's awesome sister for coming up with such creative games haha. Am really magnetic towards the whole notion of sillyness but then again, that is probably a part of me. Anyway, I feel the excitement of the youth olympics game already! Because I had my first training cum bonding session with the rest of the NOC assistants yester...

My job involves keying in data, but what's more important are the details being keyed beneath this no-brainer job. In fact, it's saddening because I have to look through application papers for social assistance and financial help from mostly the broken families, or families with a deceased parent, or children with a parent serving his/her imprisonment, or abandoned kids born out of wedlock and whom their grandparents have to take reponsibilities for. It's even sadder to imagine these young children being exposed to such turmoil at the early stages of their lives. Anyway, before I get too attached to this, my newfound colleague just had me laughing throughout the whole afternoon so much that I had to suppress as much as I can from my usual laughing outbursts. After expressing how saddening some family situations are, she told me that she has seen even sadder cases as she worked in some social assistance centre before. And this was when the joke came in. She explained how she...

Now, I supposed most Singaporean bloggers will harp about the flood at Orchard Road. I shall skip that, although I'd like to add that I actually woke up this morning (11 am) feeling so good because the weather's nice. Little did I know for two hours there was a flood at Orchard Road and to think that such occurences are rarity. Ok I hope they would start doing something to the drainage system. Working at Media C. for 2 days was quite an experience, except that Aiman and I did nothing much on Sunday and we kind of did a million more things on Monday because we had ongoing tasks to do. Plus we've met exciting people and also, hmm, interesting people (of whom we secretly gave nicknames for us to refer to). I suddenly thought of The Devil Wears Prada and I actually wonder how the life of assistants are in this line of work, are they really treated like shit? Is that a part of climbing up the ladder in this career path? Ok random. The awesome thing is really to see how they swi...