Sakinah Abdul Aziz

This is the thirst of a weary and withering soul. This is a thirst which stems from a place of void. This is a thirst for the pursuit of something, anything to revive the weakening and dying soul. The pursuit of meaning and inspiration. The pursuit of purposeful living and self actualization. The pursuit of a greater cause which transcends the material and physical. The pursuit of endless possibilities and growth. The pursuit of transformation and adventure. The pursuit of a journey within. This is the thirst, yearning for solace and peace. This is the thirst for an awakening. Another is the thirst, a physical thirst which tires and slows down the living. This is the thirst which couldn't be quenched as a result of ruthless tyrants and their followers who did not understand compassion and humanity. This is the thirst of the oppressed under the hands of tyranny and cruelty. This is the thirst of a 7 month old who has done no wrong. This is the thirst of a man, this close to rea...

I was so blessed to be enlightened by 2 inspiring souls over a talk yesterday. Somehow I felt that the essence of the talk really spoke to me and did some kind of a poke to my soul to say that yes, this is exactly what you needed to hear, you weary soul. I was reminded of all the things I believed in and somehow tucked at a corner of my soul. The sharing at the talk was about purposeful travelling and one of which transcends the material and extrinsic world but really a journey inwards and journey to self discovery. And this journey is a means to attain a higher state of spirituality and in essence to be closer to the Beloved. Although the talks are about travels, I do believe that the essence of the sharing could also be about purposeful living. Somehow I had lost some touch with some of these intrinsic notions. "The wound is where the Light enters you". I was reminded that void is where Light could enter. And the speaker referred to Rumi many a times. It has com...

Today I am convinced that what we truly fear the most is really the unknown. Amongst all the greatest fears, it would be this. Ideally, perhaps for the majority of us, want to lead predictable lives where we can plan our next step, our next move. We want to know that there is something waiting for us the moment we complete a certain phase in life. We want to map out our whole life and we want to follow the route we have carved in our minds. We want to be prepared. To be prepared for what is to come. To be prepared for a certain mishap that may come. To be prepared for anything. Perhaps the unknown is terrifying to us that we ever so conscientiously map out our lives. And when we get stuck, we get anxious. Like there is a void that needs filling. And when we don't know where to go from there, we feel like such an utter failure. People would ask, so what do you plan to do after this then? (you get such questions after being around in an organization for a couple of years or...

I discovered a very profound supplication by Imam Hussain ibn Ali, the beloved grandson of the Holy Prophet on the Day of Arafat. This excerpt had me awed beyond description: And I bear witness, O my God, with my true belief, and the fortitude of the determinations of my conviction  and the purity of my open belief in Your Oneness  and the essence of the secret of my conscience,  and the ties of the canals of the light of my sight,  and the lines of my forehead   and the hallows of the courses of my breath, and the (nasal) cavities of my nose,  and the courses of the meatus of my hearing, and whatever my two lips hide and cover up, and the motions of the vocalization of my tongue, and the socket of the palate of my mouth and jaw,  and the matrices of my dents,  and the tasting of my food and my drink,  and the carrier of my skull,  and the tube of the tissues of my neck  and what is included by the cloak of my ch...

It isn't easy staying afloat. Especially for long periods. Cos you can't see the shore. You tread hard, but it feels like you're putting in effort that has no meaning. Like running on the treadmill. I hope to be able to reach the shoreline. Soon. Soon. And till then, looking ahead seems demoralising with no shore in sight. But I shall look up. And enjoy the view till I reach the shoreline.

I found myself stopping in my tracks as soon as I was greeted by a view. There I was. Struck with awe and captivated by the beauty of the full moon. And a large one this time. So full, so bright, so round. Though a moon in its very physical form is full and round, we embrace this moment when we finally bear witness to this true form. Don't we have to see some crescents, quarters and gibbouses before we see the full moon? What a beautiful reminder from nature that it takes a cycle to be able to witness this beauty. And that cycles and processes are important building founding blocks of life. Like the metamorphosis of the caterpillar and the developmental stages of a growing embryo in the womb. Every journey consists of changes and processes. And we trudge along to finally reach to the end point; a beautiful end product, a beautiful long awaited destination and a beautiful final abode. A journey may be interspersed with days which seemed bleak and dark. But there is light at the e...

In a crazy, wired world like today, we are too connected that we are isolated. Outpouring of information coming from all directions and from various mediums, neverending tasks and demands, worries, and then even short-term pleasure of company, food and entertainment, that we barely have time for ourselves. Are we so used to these other kinds of connections that we feel so out of place, fearing the real connection? Because the real connection first brings us to confront ourselves where we find ourselves alone after having completed the tasks for the day, attended to all which needs attending, to finally attend to ourselves. Our selves, alone to face our innermost thoughts, worries, fears. Due to a long passage of time being so disconnected with self, we cannot handle the inner truths. We experience anxiety, pain and discomfort. It seems overwhelming and we grasp to fix them but we don't know where to begin. We are lost. We have lost ourselves. And so we start to run away and ru...

What does it mean to be free? It is to manage expectations and to let life unravel the way it is suppose to. Managing expectations does not equate to minimising responsible behaviour. Such would be impractical as the system of this life runs on the principle of accountability. We are accountable for our own happiness, for our successes, for our future and to a certain extent, the outcome of our decisions and actions. To be accountable means to take charge of our life within our capabilities and the means we have access to. To be accountable is recognising that we are proactive actors in our own lives. And hence to be free is to understand that we are gifted with this free will. And that we exercise our free will properly to make informed choices and to channel our energy for the desired outcome. May or may not happen the way as planned, but the beauty of this is to give it all it, and then to let nature take its course. Because if we don't and we dodge what is to come and ...

" 'Ana madinatul 'ilm, wa Aliyyun baboo ha." The Prophet (peace be upon him) had said that he is the City of Knowledge and Ali is the Gate to that knowledge. And I am still in disbelief that I had sat before that gate amongst hundreds of thousands under the twilight in the early waking hours. And on another cold, beautiful night, entering into the holy vicinity and witnessing the gate of his shrine, shining brilliantly and reflecting its splendour of gold. And now, 2 months on, it had sinked into me that this was probably the closest to divinity that I had ever been. I had just stood before a resting body of a great, awe-inspiring leader. Dead physically, but a soul that is so alive till today. This man, who had embraced Islam while he was a young boy out of his unwavering love and belief in the Prophet. He, who had taught us the essence of the greater jihad resounding the true teachings of the Prophet through his behaviours and actions. A man who fought his nafs...

“You get a strange feeling when you're about to leave a place, I told him, like you'll not only miss the people you love but you'll miss the person you are now at this time and this place, because you'll never be this way ever again.”   ― Azar Nafisi, in Reading Lolita in Tehran  And I, I left my heart in Karbala. In Najaf. In Mashhad. And in Qom.  When can I feel this way again?