Sakinah Abdul Aziz

To my dearest friend, Please get well soon. It's been so long and I cannot help but to feel empty, really really empty beyond words. You will always be in my prayers, and you are always on my mind. I BELIEVE that you will get through this soon enough and you will resume back to how you used to be, always making my day, sharing every excited details about your life, and simply just being yourself that has really become a part of me. For you, I will always stay positive and stay strong. I am looking forward to days when we can share that crazy high laughter when sharing our special jokes, when we can have our serious, intellectual conversations and simply just talking about mindless things all over again. I want to go home with you on the other end of the line and always asking about how my day went, or simply just for catching up. Because I miss you so much. But I know you are indeed a very strong girl, and although I may not be physically next to you all the time, I will spirituall...

I had my first paper today. I think that it was reasonably, moderately challenging but I think it's the sort of paper that didn't provide enough opportunities for me to display my true understanding of this module. Ah injustice, but I did my best! I still like Personality and I think Ryan Hong is such a funny, good lecturer haha. Hoping for the best still! :) Me and xiang decided to take some break and then meet again just now to study till midnight at macs. I was pretty appalled actually with the crowd at macs (again, I forgot it's a Saturday, I mean, exam on a Saturday?!) because there were hoards of people sitting, all facing in one direction, towards the big plasma TV, showcasing some soccer match. I wanted to find seats but to no avail and I was thinking, who on earth would spend their Saturday night at Macs? Then I realised that I was in a more pathetic situation (who on earth STUDIES on saturday night?). Ok on a positive note, 3 more papers to go, and then, liberalis...

A small piece of info from my health psych notes that might be relevant to some of us. Am not surprised why "It's finals week" is ranked number 3. And hooomagod, I can straightaway drown in lalaland if there's a bed next to me but I'm not close to finishing what I want to finish by today! I discovered that there are certain songs that we don't quite internalise the lyrics or meanings of them, especially those songs during the primary school days! Backstreet boys, S Club 7, Westlife .... and many many years down the road later(today), when I listen to the songs for the umpteenth time, suddenly the meanings mean so much more than before! Amazing how we can listen to songs just for pleasure sometimes without even caring about the lyrics.

I like to see people reunited, I like to see people run to each other, I like the kissing and the crying, I like the impatience, the stories that the mouth can’t tell fast enough, the ears that aren’t big enough, the eyes that can’t take in all of the change, I like the hugging, the bringing together, the end of missing someone. - Jonathan Safran Foer, Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close

Some things just had to be mentioned! Like say, last Friday night I went out with a bunch of crazy french class friends. Initially I had been studying and then around dinnertime, these crazy wackos were going for dinner (and I was still contemplating). So this Nicolas&Amey went to find me just to convince me and they LIED to me so that I would go out with them, saying that it was Yvonne's 21st "birthday"! So I obliged ok mainly because I did want to have some fun before the reading week and also because of the birthday! It was only at Ben&Jerry's that I found out it was a prank! IT WASN'T ANYONE'S BIRTHDAY! Tsk LOL. THANKS MAN guys haha! But I did have so much fun! And I totally have to mention this incident! We squeezed seven people in the car (so there were 5 of us sardined at the back!). This reminded me so much of India because we squeezed it SIX people in the tiny, auto rickshaw a few times! Suffocating to the max hee. Anyway, during the ride, Nic...

We often crave for just that one person ready to be all ours at the end of the day. Sometimes that's all we need, just one person, to talk about our day to, to unload the bulk of our minds and to hear us out. Just one person to build a special connection with and to drown in the pleasure of sharing, be it joy or sorrow. The one person you unveil yourselves to. Just one person and you don't need the world to complete your day. But today, tonight, I think I might just need that one person in the sharing of silenceness, a comfortable one. Because when you're suddenly verbally disabled and your energy couldn't suffice, you start to hold on to something greater. A communication like no other. And that is through silence. Why can't Singapore be dark enough so on this very night I can be overshadowed by a blanket of stars?

“The unreal is more powerful than the real. Because nothing is as perfect as you can imagine it. Because its only intangible ideas, concepts, beliefs, fantasies that last. Stone crumbles. Wood rots. People, well, they die. But things as fragile as a thought, a dream, a legend, they can go on and on. If you can change the way people think. The way they see themselves. The way they see the world. You can change the way people live their lives. That’s the only lasting thing you can create.” - Chuck Palahniuk

Short updates: Final final French grammar test is tomorrow afternoon My FIRST final paper (personality) is in TEN days' time! SHIT. For some weird reason, I feel sleepy as early as 10:30 pm for these past two days. Crap. My crazy friends think that there ought to have tudung pyjamas for those who don them (this made me LMAO X 10000000000). Bittersweet experience for french oral exam, lol. I, amongst the sea of people who had, haven't watched How to Train a Dragon. Me, together with possibly two other people (katty and wenxiang) HAHA. So pathetic please. Is it really THAT good? Daym looks like I'd be missing a good show since gotta study (sucks!) I got the position NOC Assistant (French) for the Youth Olympics event! So eggciting! Ok so this means my August would be filled. But ... no news for internship yet. People reply at tortoise-like speed really. Even though I did receive prompt replies, those aren't acceptance letters. Jeez. If all else fail, I'll find a part-...

I know this is so one year ago, but this scene is just nice :)

What the French term "métro-boulot-dodo" literally means is "subway-work-sleep". And I don't have to put any effort to draw the parallel with what our lives have become, to that. A bus ride to wherever we work, proceeding to work, and coming back feeling so exhausted and then finally sleeping. The alarm goes off and hello to another day filled with just the same things. Fortunately for some of us, this cycle doesn't apply so immensely because we have happy, positive things to look forward to and to squeeze into. But what happens if there's nothing much to look forward to anymore? When this happens, we do what we do best; finding other things to do such that it seems like we're breaking out of that cycle. Unfortunately, those are short-lived because we always find ourselves landing on the same old cycle once again. So do you see the pattern here? The main question is, how long do we have to keep up with this? Now I realise how some of us have complet...