Sakinah Abdul Aziz

Human beings have 2 distinct natures that are often confused and seen as one. The first nature is what we call 'tabi'ah'. To survive a physical experience on this planet, we have a physical body that is driven by an animal-like instinct and this nature that we call 'tabi'ah'. Its purpose is to drive the human body to keep him in survival mode in existence. Tabi'ah seeks pleasure, flees pain and fights for survival. This is driven by selfishness. Tabi'ah does not last. We are also wired with a more innate nature, divinely ingrained nature called fitrah that is unique in human beings. Fitrah is that which drives your soul. Fitrah is selfless. Fitrah is lasting. Fitrah is the compass within you. You can change it, you can deny it but it's still there. Tabi'ah cannot comprehend things like justice, fairness, equity, this is for fitrah to understand. But tabi'ah cannot be taken out from us. It demands from us to be fulfilled. Tabi'ah and fit...

The one universal need we all share in common with is the need to feel grounded and anchored in something. The sense of grounding indicates that no matter how strong the storm comes, we cannot be swayed. We all are looking around for this sense of purpose. Like the deep roots of the trees, we want to have a sense of rootedness and a place in this world. It's easy to ignore this need. Sometimes this need manifests and even disguises itself as something else. And then we forget about it because this manifestation of this need has been fulfilled by something else. And the deeper roots remain unnourished and unattended.

Here's what I plan to do.  I really just want to leave you. But dang it's so hard. I wish I could leave you. Each time I leave, and you follow me through, its like carrying a sack of rice upon my back. I truly hate the fact that you cannot stay still on my desk. Why couldn't you? Is it because I'm not good enough to draw the boundaries? Should I consider divorcing you then? Talak 3.

I had a sudden revelation about doors when I entered the lift to get home just now. Each time both lifts are on the first floor, I'd always choose to enter the one with the doors opened. I've always done that since I was really young. Even when the nearer door is closed, I'd still choose to walk through the other opened one. It was this incident which made me think about how naturally it is for me to feel welcomed to enter somewhere with doors already opened. It really made me reflect about the bigger picture and how I've been navigating my life thus far. Perhaps I had always been asking for the things which aren't meant for me or aren't happening as it's not its due time. Perhaps I had always been knocking on these closed doors which aren't opened as yet for me, and I still keep knocking on them and waiting for them to be open. Maybe I could just cease wanting to get through these closed doors (surely after several attempts). Perhaps I shou...

To surrender does not mean to put up a whiteflag. To surrender is to hand over one's control to the rightful Master. To surrender is to empty oneself of one's ego and base desires so that the cup can be refilled with a breath of Divine essence. To surrender is to polish one's heart so that more Light can penetrate through to attain higher levels of enlightenment. To surrender is to fully acknowledge the limitations in one's knowledge and control of one's life. To surrender means to fully trust the process and the journey and being in the here and now despite the possibilities of failure and fear and difficulties. To surrender means to fully allow Him to guide you in navigating through the journey of the unknown and the beyond.

This is the thirst of a weary and withering soul. This is a thirst which stems from a place of void. This is a thirst for the pursuit of something, anything to revive the weakening and dying soul. The pursuit of meaning and inspiration. The pursuit of purposeful living and self actualization. The pursuit of a greater cause which transcends the material and physical. The pursuit of endless possibilities and growth. The pursuit of transformation and adventure. The pursuit of a journey within. This is the thirst, yearning for solace and peace. This is the thirst for an awakening. Another is the thirst, a physical thirst which tires and slows down the living. This is the thirst which couldn't be quenched as a result of ruthless tyrants and their followers who did not understand compassion and humanity. This is the thirst of the oppressed under the hands of tyranny and cruelty. This is the thirst of a 7 month old who has done no wrong. This is the thirst of a man, this close to rea...

I was so blessed to be enlightened by 2 inspiring souls over a talk yesterday. Somehow I felt that the essence of the talk really spoke to me and did some kind of a poke to my soul to say that yes, this is exactly what you needed to hear, you weary soul. I was reminded of all the things I believed in and somehow tucked at a corner of my soul. The sharing at the talk was about purposeful travelling and one of which transcends the material and extrinsic world but really a journey inwards and journey to self discovery. And this journey is a means to attain a higher state of spirituality and in essence to be closer to the Beloved. Although the talks are about travels, I do believe that the essence of the sharing could also be about purposeful living. Somehow I had lost some touch with some of these intrinsic notions. "The wound is where the Light enters you". I was reminded that void is where Light could enter. And the speaker referred to Rumi many a times. It has com...

Today I am convinced that what we truly fear the most is really the unknown. Amongst all the greatest fears, it would be this. Ideally, perhaps for the majority of us, want to lead predictable lives where we can plan our next step, our next move. We want to know that there is something waiting for us the moment we complete a certain phase in life. We want to map out our whole life and we want to follow the route we have carved in our minds. We want to be prepared. To be prepared for what is to come. To be prepared for a certain mishap that may come. To be prepared for anything. Perhaps the unknown is terrifying to us that we ever so conscientiously map out our lives. And when we get stuck, we get anxious. Like there is a void that needs filling. And when we don't know where to go from there, we feel like such an utter failure. People would ask, so what do you plan to do after this then? (you get such questions after being around in an organization for a couple of years or...

I discovered a very profound supplication by Imam Hussain ibn Ali, the beloved grandson of the Holy Prophet on the Day of Arafat. This excerpt had me awed beyond description: And I bear witness, O my God, with my true belief, and the fortitude of the determinations of my conviction  and the purity of my open belief in Your Oneness  and the essence of the secret of my conscience,  and the ties of the canals of the light of my sight,  and the lines of my forehead   and the hallows of the courses of my breath, and the (nasal) cavities of my nose,  and the courses of the meatus of my hearing, and whatever my two lips hide and cover up, and the motions of the vocalization of my tongue, and the socket of the palate of my mouth and jaw,  and the matrices of my dents,  and the tasting of my food and my drink,  and the carrier of my skull,  and the tube of the tissues of my neck  and what is included by the cloak of my ch...