Sakinah Abdul Aziz

I've been going back and forth in formulating my thoughts on this topic. I have to make a disclaimer that writing this isn't done with the intention to offend or make judgements about anyone in particular, but rather a reflection that came out from my past travelling habits and my observations on the trend and culture of travelling in the past few years. It hasn't been an easy piece to write about, also because I recognise that I'm part of this problem and having perpetuated the very things you would be reading later on. So firstly, this is a critique on myself. And secondly, I think we ought to reflect about this because of the prevalent and widespread travelling culture that is further exacerbated, romanticised and normalised by social media and people/community around us who travel frequently.  I was actually that person who made sure I was to make travel plans every year. I had a few places in mind, forming my own bucket list with each place waiting to be struck out...

I'm inspired to write (pretty anti-climatic I must say) on this topic because of recent discussions with some friends and also because I just recently wrote an essay on religious freedom a couple of weeks ago, which very much delves into this discussion of freedom of speech. Being in the UK allowed me to have firsthand experience of being at the receiving end of hate speech and micro-aggressions. It is no wonder that there have been many ongoing campaigns, ground-up initiatives and NGOs which address issues such as racism, sexism, Islamophobia, homophobia, along with many others which are associated with intolerance, abuse, and hate speech. The things I have been reading on these forces of hatred have actually come to life. In Singapore, voices are being stifled and suppressed because of the rules and laws in place. When there are voices that are deemed by the state to be corrosive to the national harmony, the state would not hesitate to implement bans (for instance, banning re...

I remember his sorrowful eyes when I attempted to have a brief conversation with him. The eye contact was brief, to avoid showing his look of embarrassment if it was any longer. It's the eyes of someone who doesn't want to be where he is, yet he had to. He had no choice. There are many hundred thousands like him in the country. I wonder how do we give, while protecting the dignity of the other. It is as if giving, even a little, is a reminder of the state they are in. What more reminders could there be when they are reminded of it everytime - each time the winds, the rain and the coldness of winter get to their bones, the starvation, the loneliness, the millions of faces passing by and them having nowhere to go. In the midst of joy and celebration today, may we not forget the ones without a home or shelter, the ones travelling and are away from their loved ones, the ones who have lost and are grieving, and those who are struggling a lot more especially during this holiday sea...

snugged, in the drizzle befriended by a robin whispered promises

Today marks one month since I arrived in the UK. Definitely am feeling more settled than I was two weeks and even a week ago. Taking a walk in the nearby park when the sun was shining yesterday was an opportunity I could not miss. For the first time here, I feel so much peace and joy, and that moment convinced me more than ever that my element is truly being under the canopy of trees (with blue skies and some sunshine). I spent alot of time outdoors in Singapore, I suppose that contributed alot to this inclination and preference. But in that element, I feel so much love. Even more so in the form that autumn allows these tall beings to be where I could witness leaves leaving them and joining many others that become this beautiful carpet of dried, crispy leaves I was walking on. Every leaf is beautiful - the orange ones, the yellow, the green, the brown, the red. The most fascinating are the ones with a gradient of colours, once again reminding me what transformation and change could loo...

My first week of Ramadan has been about unpacking faith, head on. Faith is often portrayed so beautifully, as though it is an ideal state - untainted, divine, perfect when in reality, it fluctuates, with tides and waves and seasons. I believe that our relationship with faith is deeply personal, multifaceted and complex. Hence, I'm more inclined to believe that markers of 'faith' would go beyond norms or external standards, especially during this holy month when there is greater emphasis on rewards and deeds. This isn't to undermine the merits of acts of worship (which could take on various forms) or setting of personal goals or the desire to do better, but recognizing that faith is a process in itself, a personal journey which isn't only confined to the dimensions of action/inaction but also in thinking and reflecting about the difficult questions and most importantly, in approaching ourselves authentically and facing our fallibility and flaws (in essence, our human...

The full moon never fail to remind me of the value of forbearance and patience in the unfolding of events, of process, of journey in stages. "So I call to witness the rosy glow of sunset, the night in its progression, and the moon as it grows into fullness. Surely you shall travel from stage to stage. What, then, is the matter with them, that they do not have faith in the unfolding?" (84:16-19)

I pray for every thought of those who comes across my mind turns into a prayer For in haste, I forgot to utter the proper prayer For in haste, just silence from me For in haste, the world spins and you feel forgotten and left behind So I pray, for every thought like this, to be intended like a prayer praying nothing but, goodness. If a thought is all I could offer Then dear God, accept my every thought like a prayer.

2017 seems like a year of redemption for me in many ways which I'm deeply thankful for. Time factor has a lot to do with it and I'm grateful to attain a level of work-life balance that makes time for personal growth & development and to nurture my other interests. The defining moments were those of risk-taking and taking chances, stepping into discomfort and walking into unchartered territories. Be it showing up when it's difficult, having tough conversations, showing love even when it may come with no guarantees and risking pain, recognising my overly apologetic nature when I shouldn't have to in some situations, and learning that saying no doesn't need to bring along guilt. 2017 flew before me just like that, in a very good way, but it also confronts me with a feature of time we often overlook - the kindness and patience that it provides. Even if 2017 did not go the way we planned, time has been patient with us, as it has always been all these years. To see us...

Day-to-day monologue in relation to the sun. On a rare weekend evening: 'So catching the sunset' When craving kicks in: 'An excuse to get an ice cream/froyo on this sweltering day' On a Saturday afternoon: 'Time for a nap' During midday in office: 'Too hot to eat out, so gonna dapao' During monsoon season: 'Yas! Time to cycle or trek' While on vacation: 'Am forever chasing after sunsets and sunrise' Lately: 'Perfect weather to do laundry' (Is it I'm adulting?) • Thank you sun. We are almost there and then it is one full orbit when we get to meet 2018!