Sakinah Abdul Aziz

“You get a strange feeling when you're about to leave a place, I told him, like you'll not only miss the people you love but you'll miss the person you are now at this time and this place, because you'll never be this way ever again.”   ― Azar Nafisi, in Reading Lolita in Tehran  And I, I left my heart in Karbala. In Najaf. In Mashhad. And in Qom.  When can I feel this way again?

'Whether one moves slowly or with speed, the one who is a seeker will be a finder. Always seek with your whole self, for the search is an excellent guide on the way. Though you are lame and limping, though your figure is bent and clumsy, always creep towards the One. Make that One your quest. By speech and by silence and by fragrance, catch the scent of the King everywhere' - Mevlana Jalaluddin Rumi; Mathnawi III

It is the heat which removes the impurities and toxic from within, leaving it more polished, refined and pure. So in order to attain such clean slate and a transformed, untainted, pure form of being, we need to withstand an incredible amount of heat.

"The two searches - for the love of a partner and for the love of the sublime - these two loves ran intertwined. I didn't have the words to explain this, but only later would I understand that these were the same search, the same love, which could not exist or be nurtured or thrive separately." - Shelina Zahra Janmohamed

Enlightenment. Calmness of the heart. Clear vision. Enhanced patience. Firmness even when the world is shaking. Generosity. Open heartedness. Inspired by Hajj Hassanain Rajabali

You know this whole experience when you keep your head looking towards that one door. You walk towards it and reach out for the doorknob only to find out that that it is only a figment of your imagination and that there isn't any door. Perhaps then you got to start paving for another route. "Redirect to another source" This was such a timely anecdote and a very wise reminder. Each time I start seeking and scrambling for another source, I need to be reminded that there is that one true Source that never fails. And I need to always keep coming back. There will always be moments when we are being steered away but being called back. Moments when we walk farther away but we keep coming back. To that one source. Like an anchor that grounds you. Like a compass that directs you.

I've never really seen myself as live of the party according to the Western standards. But if we re-define this as someone who cracks jokes, makes exaggerated movements, getting conversations moving at a rapid pace and infecting laughter and humour through ones own laughter for extended periods and being in a crowd of 8, maybe that could have been me last night. But the conclusion of this is the realisation that I have indeed burst my own energy tank. Because my tank has shrunk through time. 3 hour of non-stop laughter, cracking jokes and playing games, I thought I could have fainted or died. My head was throbbing and weariness and fatigue overcame me. Can't remember the last time I was like this but it must have been ages ago since I can no longer handle the after effects of being extremely extroverted. Signs of aging.

One could fall in love with an idea. Like a magnet, it sticks on you. Like a boomerang, it comes back to you with every swing in efforts to push it away. It latches on the mind. It refuses to go away. It makes you run through it in the mind, countless replays and reruns. And the more you let it play before you, the more attractive it becomes. This idea delights you, it energizes you. It overwhelms you with all its perfection, its beauty. So pure, as if nothing could taint it. It is perfect. The heart wants to indulge in it. Yet it becomes to appear much like an obsession, an unhealthy indulgence, an addiction. It is out of sight, but it is in the mind. Like a parasite which has been feeding off the brain long enough to make the mind its own home, spreading wildly and vividly. This idea, it seems real. It seems real more than anything else. And yet, this idea just stays in the mind. This idea is just.. an idea.  What is it about you?  Maybe it isn't about the mind after all....

'When you know that language, it's easy to understand that someone in the world awaits you, whether it's in the middle of the desert or in some great city. And when two such people encounter each other, and their eyes meet, the past and the future become unimportant. There is only that moment, and the incredible certainty that everything under the sun has been written by one hand only. It is the hand that evokes love, and creates a twin soul for every person in the world. Without such love, one's dreams would have no meaning. "Maktub", thought the boy.' ― Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

'Whoever said in what is He, held that He is contained; and whoever said on what is He held He is not on something else. He is a Being but not through phenomenon of coming into being. He exists but not from non-existence. He is with everything but not in physical nearness. He is different from everything but not in physical separation. He acts but without connotation of movements and instruments. He sees even when there is none to be looked at from among His creation. He is only One, such that there is none with whom He may keep company or whom He may miss in his absence.' - Ali Ibn Abi Talib (a.s.) Source: Nahjul Balagha: Peak Of Eloquence