Sakinah Abdul Aziz

'Whoever said in what is He, held that He is contained; and whoever said on what is He held He is not on something else. He is a Being but not through phenomenon of coming into being. He exists but not from non-existence. He is with everything but not in physical nearness. He is different from everything but not in physical separation. He acts but without connotation of movements and instruments. He sees even when there is none to be looked at from among His creation. He is only One, such that there is none with whom He may keep company or whom He may miss in his absence.' - Ali Ibn Abi Talib (a.s.) Source: Nahjul Balagha: Peak Of Eloquence

The great thing about residing in a place for about one and a half decades together with some others, you really see how people have grown. You enter the lift, and you start to observe. Like you've always known how this person would turn out totally gorgeous when she hits the peak of her youth. Or like, you sorta draw some links between smoking and weight loss because the girl who was always seen smoking has gotten really skinny. Or you learnt how hormones did not seem very fair to some teenage growing boys, because look how those young lanky boys outgrown you and how presentable and tall they've become. Or, like how you used to wonder which grade the other uniform-clad neighbours are in and now you are wondering what are their occupation. And you also realize, how those white hair is slowly peeking out among the black strands, how their shoulders tend to slouch and how small their frames have become. You notice how some are accompanied by their other halves and how som...

Sometimes it's like that, isn't it? You clench your fist and then you unclench. Clench and unclench. Clench and unclench. When you start to unclench, you tell yourself, "Let it go, let it go." Because in the first place, it isn't something you are capable of holding on for too long, or even if at all. Afterall, you are only grasping air.

Somehow I had forgotten how it was like. Like how when you try to rummage through your memories of you being 4, you can barely retrieve anything but flashing pictures. Vague flashes. Like a video being fast-forwarded. Sketches. Mere sketches with very little details. Not much colour, no hints of sound. And what only remained are just ideas and theories of what it was. Descriptive, objective, detached. Somehow I had forgotten how it felt like. And the replaying of the beautiful words spoken in my mind of how blissful that once felt, these soon are only remembered through the familiarity of speech. And what only remained are the mere movements of my lips, carrying meaning that was no longer felt. Now, I just can't remember. No matter how significant and beautiful the memory of it was. Life is really a series of fleeting moments.

"In the midst of hate, I found there was, within me, an invincible love. In the midst of tears, I found there was, within me, an invincible smile. In the midst of chaos, I found there was, within me, an invincible calm. I realized, through it all, that In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer. And that makes me happy. For it says that no matter how hard the world pushes against me, within me, there’s something stronger – something better, pushing right back." - Albert Camus

Of course nobody likes the flu bug. We groan and sigh because we just have that too many things to do that we cannot afford to fall sick. And then we blame the "bug", or the people whom we have come in contact with 24 hours prior to experiencing the first onset of flu (normally would be a terrible sore throat for me). But of course at the end of the day, we blame ourselves for failing to immunize ourselves against these viruses and bacteria floating around in the hot, humid Singapore air. To have come to this point, I am aghast at how we tend respond to falling sick. Sometime back, I was down with a mild fever (and probably a diarrhea that did not really manifest itself very well, thankfully) after my weekend trip in Bintan, and what I suspected, after savouring the delectable street food. On Monday, I went to see the doctor and I was given a 2-days MC as he was afraid I had dengue. But of course, I had too many things to do, I stubbornly went back to work on Tuesday, an...

Z: I sometimes feel like I'm looking down on myself. Like there's this older, wiser me watching over this 19-year-old rough draft, who's full of all this potential, but has to live more to catch up with that other self somehow. And, uh, I know I'll get there. It's just sometimes I think I want to rush the process, you know? And I don't know, maybe, um - maybe I thought you were some sort of shortcut. Does that make any sense? J: If I wrote you, I would be like, "This is the best rough draft ever." - J: I think one of the things I loved the most about being here was the feeling that anything was possible. It's just infinite choices ahead of you. You'd get out of school, and anything could happen. And then you do get out, and... life happens, you know'? Decisions get made. And then all those many choices you had in front of you are no longer really there. At a certain point, you just got to go, "Oh, I guess this is new its going down...

Today, my father reminded us all on what Eid truly means. Eid is an Arabic word which means festival but it is also derived from its root words carrying meanings of "to return". We were reminded to always bring ourselves back to our Creator and to always put Him in the center. " Here I am at Thy service, O Lord, here I am ".

"You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give." - Kahlil Gibran And when you truly give, you put your whole heart in it. It is not gifts of compassion, or love, or joy, or gratitude if you do not open up your well-hidden hearts into it. It is not meaningful work but pure labour if you do not put your hearts in it. And when you truly understand the centrality of your heart, you would do anything to nurture it. To nurture is to also liberate it, free it. It is not to bubble-wrap it and keep it safely hidden and locked up in your selfishness. To give freely is not to expect or concern yourself with how much you receive in return. The moment you free your heart, that's when you truly, fully, unconditionally give.

The Morning Hours "I swear by the early hours of the day. And the night when it covers with darkness. Your Lord has not forsaken you, nor has He become displeased. And surely what comes after is better for you than that which has gone before. And soon will your Lord give you so that you shall be well pleased"  - Holy Quran [93:1-5]