With everything that has been going on globally as of late, there has been an overwhelming amount of information shared across various platforms, from all directions. It has been a rather overwhelming week, also because I just resumed working after close to 2 months of being furloughed. I see the goodness in the conversations that I'm having with some people. I just decide to lay low for abit and manage my consumption on social media not only because there was sensory overload, but also because reading too many headlines, short summaries and notes in bite-sized pieces while can be helpful, hinders the deep processing of our thoughts, slowly reflecting, thinking and formulating our opinions. I'm still pretty much an ol skool person who sees value in journaling (though digital), and the way words can immortalise moments, sentiments, thoughts and feelings. It definitely allows me to explore ideas, thoughts and sentiments slowly, but in greater depth. It definitely is a form of resisting the fast-paced world of information and getting in touch with the universe within us.
This is difficult to write, but it's definitely an important one amidst all the conversations we've been having lately. Growing up being brown/Malay wasn't easy, especially when it became ingrained in me that having a darker skin tone by default, is less desired than fairer skin tones. In childhood, I couldn't recall having to endure comments about my skin colour. Thankfully amongst children, these values ascribed to lightness and darkness didn't yet come to the fore. This consciousness became more obvious since secondary school. And it was tough and painful. I've been in a sports CCA since secondary school and I couldn't really avoid not becoming tanned. What hurts the most was even my peers at that time would make comments about my skin colour without even realising the damage caused from these words. These comments I recall, were sometimes made under the guise of humour. I was called 'budak hitam' (literally means 'black child') and even ...
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