What triggered me to write this entry was a conversation I had with a friend who has been on her journey to disconnect digitally. During my catch-up with her, she shared that she recently cancelled her subscription to Netflix, to which I responded, "How did you have the courage to cancel Netflix?" with a shocked emoticon. Now, this reaction calls for a reflection and a deeper analysis into why my reaction was as such. It also reflects the centrality of Netflix (and its other variations before the advent of Netflix, such as online streaming channels, cable TV, the classic television etc.) in our lives. It makes me wonder if some of us watch some shows purely out of interest towards the show, or due to other reasons. I'm not going to deny the entertainment and leisure factor it brings, as it does serve as a perk-me-up when I watch a comedy or watch something really intriguing. This entry also does not position itself to convey that watching Netflix should be avoided at all costs. Having said that, I seem to think that there is a correlation between the lack of engagement and social isolation (and even loneliness) and the amount of time spent watching shows. I also think that there is a difference between watching shows for say, 30 minutes to one hour, as compared to binge-watching shows for hours within a day. These are of course just speculations and definitely warrant of further research of other researches done on this.
There are two ways we can look at binge-watching:
i) If I binge-watch shows out of my 'addiction' or a genuine interest with the series, this can be seen as intentional entertainment and I may feel fulfilled. There would be of course consequences such as neglecting other responsibilities, missing out on physical, real-time interactions and feeling like I wasted half the day just watching shows when I could be productive in other areas.
ii) If I binge-watch shows out of pure boredom, emptiness, lack of social engagement (or loneliness) or lack of engagement with my hobbies and interests, procrastination, it can make me happy temporarily but after doing so, may make me feel as much as, or even more horrible than before. This can be seen as a symptomatic form of binge-watching. And the troubling part of this is, we may not be fully aware of our states of being driving this behaviour.
Scenario (ii) is what I hope to share my reflections on.
Since Netflix has become dominant and popular in the last few years, I used Netflix as a means to destress during lunchtime or dinner time while I was working in Singapore. I never really had the time to binge because of work (with the exceptions of several Korean shows and a couple of American shows, but they were very few and far between which were spread out across a decade). I then embarked on my journey to study abroad and had the experience of living alone in Birmingham. What was interesting is noticing the correlation between the free time I had and the time I spent to binge watch shows on Netflix. Never in my life had I spent so much time watching TV as I did while I lived alone. I did have a good time during that year watching things I enjoy, like Jane The Virgin, The Good Place, You, Good Girls, and many others. However, I do think that sometimes, I watch these shows because I had nothing better to do, was procrastinating, felt really unengaged or found myself in a dry spell. I turned to Netflix for various reasons related to lack of engagement - whether it is socially, or not feeling engaged in the text I was reading for studies, or not doing chores or other productive activities. It almost felt like I used Netflix as a quick-fix to occupy an empty schedule during the day, or as a default accompaniment to void or lack of noise and even my meals. What I also noticed during my journey settling here in London, was that whenever my husband went to work during my period of unemployment, I also spent long hours watching shows. I also reflected upon the times back in Singapore as well as in the present time, when I would watch shows after work while eating and resting.
Instead of doing the hard work of reaching out and connecting with others or finding ways to do engaging activities like creating things, reading, or exercising, it can be really tempting to fall into the pattern of watching Netflix in bed whenever I feel disengaged/unengaged. Netflix then, becomes a lazy and illusory way of "engaging ourselves" when it really is just a time filler. This seems to be consistent with the argument I made for smartphones and social media as well (such as scrolling on our social media feeds aimlessly, hoping it can fill our social tanks). Being consumers to these things can bring us perhaps some level of entertainment and the illusion of social engagement, however, at the cost of feeling disconnected and further driving us into a deeper experience of isolation. But falling into this pattern may prevent us from really hearing what these dry spells are trying to tell us. Even worse, because we fall into a habit of binge watching to fill some void we try to avoid (consciously and unconsciously, and also because binge-watch has become so normalised in current society), it becomes unrecognisable to us whether we binge watch as an avoidant behaviour or binge watch because we want to. It can be understandable why it is so easy to binge-watch - it is easy, it is a quick-fix, and it doesn't take much effort. It does however, takes a lot more effort to dig deeper into our lack of engagement, boredom, and what is it that this boredom is telling us about what we truly need.
This post definitely has given me some room to further develop my viewpoints and reflection points. I hope to be intentional when I do watch TV. And if not, I hope to pay attention to the states of being that drive me to turn to Netflix so that I can dig deeper into whatever it is - whether it is my periods of emptiness, boredom, and dry spells to properly analyse what it is I need at that time. If it is social engagement, then I need to do the work of reaching out to people, connecting with others, and making and scheduling plans with them (digitally and in-person). If it is lack of intellectual engagement, then I can choose documentaries or listen to podcasts for digital options, or go back to the good ol' reading of books. If it is lack of adventure or fun, then I need to grab my shoes and take a walk, or cycle and discover the outside world, or even try a new recipe to bake or cook. If it is lack of spiritual connection, I need to do the work of reflecting on Nature, look inward, or read. If it is procrastination which is driving me to binge-watch, then I need to confront the emotions and thoughts I have towards the work I was supposed to be doing. It is difficult work and often terrifying, but this is the only way to not fall deep into the habit of binge-watching as an antidote to address the deeper thirsts and hunger our inner selves really need.
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