Time flies and it's already 1st July. Just 2 more weeks before I'm packing my bags again to embark on big milestones. It has been rather challenging to articulate certain things and to feel understood. When I left for Birmingham last September, what people saw is how amazing that journey would be. Yes of course there are those amazing elements, I can't deny how my 8 months away have shifted my perspectives in so many ways and how much I have learnt. Sometimes people don't see the struggles, risks and costs that come with that decision. Leaving my job, being away from home, starting anew and self-funding comes with many sacrifices. Similarly, choosing a relationship that is unconventional and the other aspects that come along with that isn't easy either. Moving, settling and living in a new city isn't easy. I can understand why people desire and romanticize these images. But at the same time there's so much flaw in that outlook because we tend to see just the highlights without recognising the processes and work one has to put in order to get there. I suppose my disappointment comes with how I am not seen enough for these processes I have to take but instead just for the "end goal" of the journey I'm about to embark. And because of that, one may think I've "got it all" and decide that I don't need to be given enough attention or care (though I'm aware my perception may be biased). But disappointment teaches me to learn to be thankful with what I have and to see what's most important in these processes. I'm thankful for the care and support given and meaningful meetings thus far in this short period of time I'm back. InshaAllah hope it will be a journey that is worth sailing for all its ups and downs and opportunities for growth.
Once again the heavy downpour. Certainly the rhythmic sound of the rain, slapping against the floor, against the windows, have conjured images in our heads of the pleasant idea of sleeping, or reading with hot cocoa (but of course this wouldn't be possible due to fasting), or just snuggling up in bed. How nice. But here I am almost dressed and ready for school. I don't know why, but it has been quite some time since I felt like I've been in school, like proper school. Perhaps it's the three days mc I've got. But now, I feel like I'm energized despite fasting, all set and ready for school. The scent of cooking porridge and spaghetti made me all excited to get through 2 lectures, one meeting and a bus ride home back welcomed by the sumptuous breaking fast meal although I'd only be back by eight-ish. Today shall be the first in a long time I'd make an appearance in French class. It's been more than a week. Wish me luck that my temperature won't rise...
Comments
Post a Comment