I finally understood what it was which truly bothered me through this passage of time where I was feeling bits of dissatisfaction from being in some social groups. It has to happen when I was abroad and living a much quieter and simpler life in order to realise the type of conversations which tend to dominate some group text conversations from friends back at home. It then became more obvious when I return to Singapore, and having to be in a few social gatherings to observe with a fresher pair of eyes, the types of conversations which hold those social gatherings and social bonding.
It is worrying how we have allowed certain lifestyle come to dominate our lives and how we have normalised it. The dominant lifestyle I'm referring to is one that is driven by capitalist forces in feeding into this so-called rosy version of what life is supposed to be, which entails the modern notions of 'productivity' as well as hyper-consumerism and hedonism to appease us and compensate for the crazy amount of hours we work. This dominant lifestyle that pervades our societies and lives is very reductionistic, because obviously it is not all there is, unless we subscribe to a life that is meant to just be self-serving and self-indulgent.
Why do I say it is a dominant lifestyle? It is because it seeps into our everyday conversations, or at least based on the type of conversations I observe on social media or in person. And our conversations are shaped by our interests and lifestyle choices. The moment when the bedrock of our social conversations is primarily focused on self-indulgence, sole material pursuits, consumerism and on constant enjoyment (hedonism), we need to recognise this as a symptom of a society that has successfully erode our capability to actualise our potential so much so that we become basic people who are only talking about these mere things. Are there any other things we can talk about other than where and when we plan to travel next, what products and services we could buy, whether we keep up with the latest trends? Do we realise that THIS is essentially what consumerism is about? How about talking about things that are beyond our selves or about our interests that drive us on a deeper level?
I need to make an important point here that I don't have any problems with consumerist behaviour in and of itself and when it's done once in awhile. Of course I can understand the need to treat ourselves sometimes - we get sumptuous food once in awhile, we plan a vacation to rejuvenate ourselves, we pamper ourselves after months of a trying time at work, and we want to buy that expensive ticket to a concert. I can be a consumer in these ways too. I am more bothered when we don't transcend them - for instance, doing things just for a sake of striking a list, or merely keeping up with trends that have been made easier to follow because of social media without ascribing a deeper meaning or value to such experiences. More than anything, I am very bothered when these things become goals and ends in themselves, rather than means as though these things are all there is to life.
More importantly, this reflection is firstly meant to remind myself that there is a need to slowly resist. Having said that, I can relate how easily it is to get sucked into that type of lifestyle when I was working like mad for 6 years. And sometimes, we feel that we need to do these things to preserve our sanity. And of course, we do deserve these things from time to time and when we can afford (not to mention also the importance of recognising the privileges we have in order to have access to these goods). Again, my issue is when our lives are merely defined by this dominant lifestyle and in turn, limit the kind of things we could actually aspire towards that are bigger than ourselves and transcendental.
I think it helps to ask ourselves, without these things, could we learn to just BE, and how do we occupy our time in ways that could nurture ourselves differently and perhaps creatively? What are our preoccupations and the thoughts that come to mind when there is lesser external stimulation and noise? Are we really taking our time to nurture our souls and minds or are we just filling in time to precisely work our asses off and then consume so much just to make ourselves feel better?
It is worrying how we have allowed certain lifestyle come to dominate our lives and how we have normalised it. The dominant lifestyle I'm referring to is one that is driven by capitalist forces in feeding into this so-called rosy version of what life is supposed to be, which entails the modern notions of 'productivity' as well as hyper-consumerism and hedonism to appease us and compensate for the crazy amount of hours we work. This dominant lifestyle that pervades our societies and lives is very reductionistic, because obviously it is not all there is, unless we subscribe to a life that is meant to just be self-serving and self-indulgent.
Why do I say it is a dominant lifestyle? It is because it seeps into our everyday conversations, or at least based on the type of conversations I observe on social media or in person. And our conversations are shaped by our interests and lifestyle choices. The moment when the bedrock of our social conversations is primarily focused on self-indulgence, sole material pursuits, consumerism and on constant enjoyment (hedonism), we need to recognise this as a symptom of a society that has successfully erode our capability to actualise our potential so much so that we become basic people who are only talking about these mere things. Are there any other things we can talk about other than where and when we plan to travel next, what products and services we could buy, whether we keep up with the latest trends? Do we realise that THIS is essentially what consumerism is about? How about talking about things that are beyond our selves or about our interests that drive us on a deeper level?
I need to make an important point here that I don't have any problems with consumerist behaviour in and of itself and when it's done once in awhile. Of course I can understand the need to treat ourselves sometimes - we get sumptuous food once in awhile, we plan a vacation to rejuvenate ourselves, we pamper ourselves after months of a trying time at work, and we want to buy that expensive ticket to a concert. I can be a consumer in these ways too. I am more bothered when we don't transcend them - for instance, doing things just for a sake of striking a list, or merely keeping up with trends that have been made easier to follow because of social media without ascribing a deeper meaning or value to such experiences. More than anything, I am very bothered when these things become goals and ends in themselves, rather than means as though these things are all there is to life.
More importantly, this reflection is firstly meant to remind myself that there is a need to slowly resist. Having said that, I can relate how easily it is to get sucked into that type of lifestyle when I was working like mad for 6 years. And sometimes, we feel that we need to do these things to preserve our sanity. And of course, we do deserve these things from time to time and when we can afford (not to mention also the importance of recognising the privileges we have in order to have access to these goods). Again, my issue is when our lives are merely defined by this dominant lifestyle and in turn, limit the kind of things we could actually aspire towards that are bigger than ourselves and transcendental.
I think it helps to ask ourselves, without these things, could we learn to just BE, and how do we occupy our time in ways that could nurture ourselves differently and perhaps creatively? What are our preoccupations and the thoughts that come to mind when there is lesser external stimulation and noise? Are we really taking our time to nurture our souls and minds or are we just filling in time to precisely work our asses off and then consume so much just to make ourselves feel better?
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