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Increasing criticality and cynicism

I've always known that life is complex and most subject matters are never straightforward. Yet one of the most incredible discovery and realisation I have to come to terms with a lot these days, yet equally terrifying, is how much we can actually evolve and grow. I was initially inclined to use the word "change", but I think the word "grow" is more suitable. I could say that my 23-year-old self, my 27-year-old self and my present self are not entirely the same. Yes, I'm pretty much the same person overall on the fundamental level, but the way I think, and some of my views have shifted quite a bit.

I feel myself being increasingly critical and cynical since I lived in the UK. Initially I wondered if it is part of the natural process of maturity (and aging) which brings the element of cynicism but I decided that that's not actually compelling.

I would imagine that the antonyms of cynicism would be naïveté. While some people think that cynicism could be followed with bitterness towards life in general, I don't necessarily think it's always the case. I think cynicism has a lot to do with a clearer understanding of the reality we are presented with. I think my cynicism about people has a lot to do with me coming to terms with the fact that humans have great propensity of selfishness and self-centeredness, and I begun to see how these manifest through actions of others. I also am quite cynical about systems and structures in place in society. I don't necessarily think this is a bad thing because cynicism helps to ground me better, propel me further into issues and problems, and maybe think of ways to overcome these things.

Maybe it is through this MA journey (for close to 6 month thus far) where I am constantly presented with many perspectives that sometimes make me question and revise thoughts which were formed much earlier in my 20s. But anyway, I would be terrified if I'm still the same person I was a few years ago and now. It may mean that I may not really have thought, questioned, learnt and reflected deeper than before.

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