Challenges of studying/living abroad

The lives of students studying abroad are often inaccurately portrayed to be all fun, posh and just overall, positive. Being in the UK almost close to 6 months now has taught me that it isn't all that rosy. Of course experiences differ from one individual to another, and there may be many others who disagree with me. But whatever that I'm sharing is purely based on my own unique experiences. There are both ups and downs to living abroad and the main message of this post is really to offer a balanced depiction of it.

Surely, there are perks to studying and living abroad. For me personally, the biggest perk out of them all is having the opportunity to study and being a student all over again (considering that I last graduated in 2012). The joy of learning and attending classes, and the wide array of resources at my disposal is an experience that is second to none. I often find myself feeling torn with what I should be unpicking and reading because there is so much to learn. Sometimes, I get distracted even as I was reading something because of the things mentioned within that material, which made me want to uncover more. The books borrowed from the library become big stacks in my room and I find myself just saving and bookmarking e-resources in One Note and Padlet (thank God for technology).

When others learnt about me going to the UK, I received encouraging responses, and most of the responses were based on the romanticised notion of studying/living abroad - the chance for me to exercise my autonomy and agency, the independence I could have with living alone, and also the geographical location of where I am studying (that I could actually explore and travel in Europe). Well, I agree with these notions, and I also disagree. A lot of people often forget that it is a big leap to be leaving home and settling somewhere else alone, and not knowing anyone else in the area. Truth to be told, adjusting life in Birmingham during the first couple of months was not easy and the struggles, although not as intense, continue even till now. After having lived in Singapore for 29 years of my life, a lot of my networks could be said to be quite stable and constant. I developed a routine. When it comes to pursuing interests, I already forged connections with like-minded people where we could attend events together. I also got a few communities which cater to the different dimensions of my interests and identity.

So when I moved, it literally means starting from scratch, starting with nothing except the tools that I have - my personality, my communication skills, networking skills, resourcefulness etc. I disliked the ugly reality that making friends at the initial start was all about putting myself out there where it became a 'numbers game'. I reminded myself that I have to start somewhere upon reflecting how it took me 2 decades of my life back at home to have what I have. Nonetheless, it was exhausting for me; attending events, exchanging contacts with many people, but not really having the connection I truly desire. There were times when it felt socially isolating, and the cold weather did not help - staying in my room was lonely. Although I really love learning, a life of studying while being cooped up in my room or the library can be depressing. Having friends to talk to over Whatsapp is not the same as having people near me physically. I knew that I have to put in extra effort to improve the social aspects of my life here.

Thankfully, as time goes by, I managed to adjust better and I made a few friends. I tried to schedule fun social things in advance, so that I could have something to look forward to.  I also openly spoke about my struggles with some people here, and hearing how my struggles were not abnormal, was a relief. Now, this made me wonder, if people like us are struggling, why then does this romanticised notion and the rosy depiction of studying abroad still persist? Is it that there is this embarrassment tied to talking about the ugly parts of this experience? Is it possibly because we want to maintain that perceived notion of the "awesomeness" which comes with studying abroad although that is not the reality? I quietly wonder about this. I do actually think that a lot of it has to do with how we tend to portray it, and increasingly perpetuated by social media which encourages us to share the best highlights of all. I shall dedicate another blogpost to share my ambivalence towards social media.

Apart from the social isolation, there are other challenges of studying abroad. For one, any geographical boundaries come with their own politics, culture and lifestyle. I have always been aware of the identity politics in the UK, particularly when it comes to racism and Islamophobia. It was unfortunate that I have been at the receiving end of hate speech directed towards my Muslim identity - an incident which triggered fear and put my safety in jeopardy. There were a couple of other occasions where one professor made terrible jokes directed towards Islam and perhaps my race. Well coincidentally in academia, I have always been interested in identity politics and intersectionality - so this made me attend conferences which discuss issues which affect British Muslims, attending a book launch which discusses the whitewashing of the elite academic institutions, and sitting in at a meeting by a Muslim NGO, targeting the issue of Islamophobia. With all the modules I'm taking, while it is unfortunate that I had these negative experiences, I also got to see how these things I have been reading in theory become reality. This fuelled me to read more about these things, even write about it and potentially volunteer and work in NGOs which address these problems.

There are many different things to share - the good and the bad, ranging from the accommodation I'm in (blessed for this) and the Muslim community and learning experiences here, my interactions with a diversity of students, and some other experiences which could be sad and unpleasant. With all the good things, there are also the unpleasant things. The struggles are real - financially when you have to keep track of the amount of savings (so guys studying abroad does NOT mean I can easily travel anywhere, I shall also dedicate a blog post on my thoughts on the modern trends of travelling), in developing a routine (because I have to do everything on my own, the grocery shopping, the cooking, the laundry, the cleaning and juggling all that while ensuring that I dedicate ample time to study), academic challenges, and just navigating through aspects of the culture and norms that I don't experience back at home. Experiences should be seen along a spectrum and we must not ignore the long stretch of mundaneness and neutral-ness which make the bulk of it.

What else can I say? The journey has just begun, and writing on this forsaken blog is also another way of coping, and to maintain a balanced perception of my own experiences. Sometimes, the unpleasant experiences could colour our entire experience negatively in totality, and sometimes, just pure romanticised depiction of the experience could be misleading and undermine other lived experiences. I hope this post helps me to also have a more balanced outlook of my own experiences and for readers to also recognise that it isn't all that rosy.