So long, 2012

Just like every year, I'd spend some time reflecting back on how the year has been. For me, 2012 has been a year of milestones. And because of that, the year flew past me, just like that. From spending my last semester in school, doing up a research paper, finally graduating, tasting what working life feels like through an enriching internship and embarking on my very first full-time job. And experiencing life's ups and downs in between. I'd like to believe that my 2012 has been good overall and I should bid the year goodbye with much gratitude.

There were several things 2012 has taught me:

1) To come to terms that it is impossible to rationalize every single thing and that some things are meant to be irrational. To be seeking for justification or explanation for everything, and to make sense of everything would be unattainable and impractical. Rationalizing is the works of the brain, but often we do things purely because we want to. Sometimes what the heart wants or what it does not want, shouldn't always be questioned and cannot be fully understood. Instead of asking "Why?" and "How come?", let go and by doing this, we are essentially rewarding ourselves with peace. We'll feel so much lighter just by letting go.

2) With greatest joy, there is potential for the greatest pain. I have come to learn that if we want to make our life worth living, it means going through the whole package that life has got to offer and that there is no such thing as choosing to experience just one side of the coin. If we want to feel positive emotions deeply and strongly (e.g. joy and happiness), then there is always room to experience emotions on the other end of the spectrum (e.g. anxiety and sadness). As Jonathan Safran Foer said, "You cannot protect yourself from sadness without protecting yourself from happiness.". To live our live always so cautiously to avoid pain, would mean that we might as well not lived at all. So just go for the ride. The key is to embrace pain as much as we embrace joy. Sit with it and may we find the wisdom and courage behind every setbacks.

3) Gaining deeper understanding on the concepts of submission and trust. What is submission? Google states that submission is 'the action or fact of accepting or yielding to a superior force or to the will or authority of another person'. I used to conceptualize submission as being fatalistic; to submit as a consequence, to accept the consequences of what has been ordained. I have learnt that submission should come together with whatever it is that we're experiencing. This is something I have acquired on a spiritual level where based on the Islamic faith, submission to will of the Divine is key. This of course, does not mean that I question every single step that I take, but rather, acknowledging that my affairs are entrusted upon the Superior force. And as implied, submission is firmly grounded with trust. Trust does not come easy, and for most of us, we often require someone to earn our trust. And when we trust someone, we hand over our affairs with 100% confidence in the context of not knowing what lies ahead. We step into the unknown with that much level of trust in someone. In other words, with trust, there needs a strong foundation of unwavering faith.

4) There is no hard and fast rules and there is no formula for any particular problem. Perhaps for certain things, like Mathematics, there is only one way where we need rules and theorems. But in reality, with the complexities of the problems (especially when we're dealing with social problems) that mankind faces, there is no one formula. What works for one person might not work for another. It is important to have role models to learn from in approaching issues, but copying exactly as the first step in resolving the issue might not work. And therefore, be a sponge, but it is also our responsibility to be discerning as to what we allow ourselves to take in and whether we want to translate them into actions.

5) Accountability. I've slowly grown familiar with this towards the second half of the year, and this is further reinforced with the line of work that I do as well. 2012 is a year of transition for me, and it has been a year of transformation from an undergrad to a working adult. I have come to realize that only we are accountable for our lives. Whatever we do, we are paving the paths on our own. Surely, we do have our loved ones with us, but at the end of the day, we are responsible for our successes, our failures, our setbacks, the knowledge that we seek, our actions, our happiness, our well-being; basically, our life as a whole. And the end of the day, we always look back upon what we did and what we did not. We are the captain of our very own ship and there is no other person who can control that steering wheel but ourselves.

6) The importance of reflections. I must say that I have spent a good deal of 2012 just being contemplative and being pensive. It is this side of me I suppose not many would have seen but I'm glad that 2012 has been a year to provide me these opportunities to slow down a little and really be in touch with myself. I have come to learn that what is more important than the events and occurrences themselves is how we make sense of them all. And this can be done through reflections. What are the key take-aways of all of these? What have we learnt? What can we say about ourselves? Is there any positive changes we can make to improve things? And like my previous blog post about Life of Pi, the storyline doesn't really matter but rather, the real essence is the underlying messages. This is a good reminder for myself to spend some quality time to really ponder and reflect.

So, a very Happy New Year! May we have a wholesome and rewarding year ahead. May we always strive for goodness and may we always live our life with the desire to inspire and to be inspired by the wonders of the world it has to offer.