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Finding joy

Amidst the busy week, perhaps I had forgotten why is it that I love school. It's really sad that due to the academic workload thrown to us, we have transformed into some sort of humdrum existence along the lively corridors of school. We all have been there before. Every now and then.

So why is it that I love school? If I were to look back to catch a glimpse of myself back in the primary school days, and then to the secondary school days, and then to junior college, and finally to where I am now, I see two things that remain to be in common as to be the reasons why I love school throughout the whole chunk of my academic life:

1) People
2) Joy of learning

It's always been these two. I think I could go on and on if you really want me to explain why people, or rather, socializing with people, really makes school so fun and enjoyable to me. Simply put, I love socializing. If you ask me, it's really where I get my energy from. I see a friendly acquaintance or a friend or a professor/teacher even, I stop, and I have an engaging conversation with them even if it means for a little while. And that's what I call; time well-spent. That's how I usually go ever since I think I have attained enough skills to socialize with people. My friends often complained that being with me would require experiencing many pit stops. And people often think that being me would be tiring. But trust me, not being me, is even more tiring.

Like where I am right at this very moment.

Somehow, I think that I have evolved to become this individualistic person this very semester. Blame the workload, blame the nature of my assignments, blame the time constraints, blame the fact that we are all minding our own business to do what we have to do, blame the fact that I'm not doing the same things as my close friends do, blame the Year 4 syndrome, blame this, blame that. Or like a friend told me, it's probably the phase of growing up and becoming an adult. It could be a change too gradual that it took me this long to realise that I have become this mellow person in such a lively, fun place who just.. well, exist. I think that even an extroverted person like me would run the risk of being too comfortable in the state I am in, just to get things done. It's sad because I think I'm starting to lose this joy. Which brings back to my Number 2 reason (the joy of learning). The reality is, it gets really hard when things get too academic and boring. And slowly, I see the passion gradually diminishing.

But today. It's really the simplest, littlest things that remind myself again as to why I love school.

It is squeezing through that bustling crowd, and among the faces, you see the face of that handsome, charming French professor who gives you a huge beam even from afar and mutters a pleasant bonjour. It is the smile you share with an acquaintance who speaks multiple languages. It's the text messages you receive from a friend who wants to have a late lunch together after a test. It is the random quirks of a girl, who overhears your voice from inside the toilet, and comes in just to say hi. It is the lovely surprise from a sweet friend who folds an origami duck for you. It is the sharing of that familiar moment after a test or an exam where students would rant about how it went and discuss answers, and then you'd be like, "Why hadn't I thought of that point?!" It is when you bump into a friend you haven't seen in eons, and the sight of that person makes you run and skip in excitement and you start to reminisce about the good ol' times when you were at the peaks of your university life. It is the urgent call you receive to submit an important document in the lab. It is the rush of a project meeting with your coursemates you've never worked with before, and the experience of this warm feeling that things will eventually turn out fine despite knowing that there's only a week to complete it. It is the pleasure of still learning how school works, and how you manage to book a discussion room in the library, for the FIRST time EVER. It is the anxiety you get when you look at the calender and let the deadlines stare back at you, and you still trudge on, because you know that things will eventually be alright, and it will be over soon enough.

It is all these things that make school, school.

And I am more determined than ever, to continue to see joy and find joy, in these last few weeks of school before it really comes to an end.

I foresee the next few weeks to be rough and busy, and so this entry shall serve as a reminder to me and one which I hope to always go back to whenever I need that dose of optimism.

Verily, with every difficulty, there is relief.
Verily, with every difficulty, there is relief.

[94:5-6]

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