Language

So this morning, I totally felt defeated. I guess language acquisition is really hard. Really, really hard. I went back to reflect upon myself how in the world do I acquire English and Malay in such a progressively easy way. And I realise that the only way to acquire language so well is to speak it everyday. And by everyday, it means, every single moment, every single opportunity you take to communicate with someone else. To utilise it in our speech everyday, and to listen to others when they speak. Because otherwise, you can never get across what you really want to say, and you can never understand what others want to convey. Acquiring a third, forth, fifth (and so on) languages at a generally older age IS hard. I used to have this confidence that if you throw me in a French-speaking country, I think I would be able to hold conversations. Yes, that's true. Normal conversations at a rather average, slow-ish speed. But I don't want to feel limited when I communicate (I do admit that I'm vocal and talktative). I guess language comprehension is way harder than language production. Cos yes, truth is, listening is hard. All I need is lots of slowing down. And that said, I conclude, I still need to do so much to sharpen this language. So so much. And I still feel defeated right now (hopefully this will last by the end of today) because if I ever see something French right now, I still feel so ashamed of myself because I feel that I am not there yet. Ok, yes, maybe I'm pushing myself too hard. But I want to speak so well so badly, I think I NEED to go the extra mile to improve it. And so I will need time. So yes, I shall make more mistakes. That too, is another formula to learn it well.

Ok, this entry is not supposed to sound angsty, but just needed to vent out on what I think about languages. And for someone who wishes to acquire more languages, I guess one experience is enough to equip me to what I would be in for, in the future.

[updated]

No more feelings of defeat, depression and pessimism. A kind soul gave me a call and then, without knowing it, we ended up having a good french conversation. Now I feel fine. Language shouldn't be rushed, and I'm willing to take this one step at a time :)

Anyway, school was good. It was a mere 2-hour lecture of paedriatic psychology. After that, played monopoly deal with wx and jiayee. This is how I want to spend my first two weeks of school before I get bombarded with assignments, projects and readings. And a good bus ride home with jiayee and aiman.