I just had the devt psych quiz and I knew I shouldn't have stayed for the flashing of answers (right after the paper). So demoralising :((((((((( I'm feeling abit under the weather, very edgy and irritable I think it's because of period. Period. Bleargh. I don't feel like staying back in Central Lib to study just as I planned to because the crowd here is so overwhelming especially now it's nearing the exams, I can't study in this condition, especially not right now. I'm tired, fatigue, sleepy, mentally drained, in need of glucose and unmotivated. I'm gonna have some pasta with fadiah and prolly head somewhere else to study for my final grammar french test tomorrow. While I am reading through my french notes, I overheard some french exchange students in front of me conversing, and am distracted. Gah. But not to worry about me, I'll be fine, just need some destressing moments (:
This is difficult to write, but it's definitely an important one amidst all the conversations we've been having lately. Growing up being brown/Malay wasn't easy, especially when it became ingrained in me that having a darker skin tone by default, is less desired than fairer skin tones. In childhood, I couldn't recall having to endure comments about my skin colour. Thankfully amongst children, these values ascribed to lightness and darkness didn't yet come to the fore. This consciousness became more obvious since secondary school. And it was tough and painful. I've been in a sports CCA since secondary school and I couldn't really avoid not becoming tanned. What hurts the most was even my peers at that time would make comments about my skin colour without even realising the damage caused from these words. These comments I recall, were sometimes made under the guise of humour. I was called 'budak hitam' (literally means 'black child') and even ...
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