Skip to main content

If i fall through these days

20 years I've been living. Yesterday was one of the few times when I was able to justify my existence. That I live not just because. But I am here for a reason. Life is a roller coaster ride. There were times when I wonder about how perfect the lives of others can be. Perfect happy family. Successful. Able to earn more than just to make ends meet. To love and be loved in return. World filled with love, wealth, good heath. Unflawed.

Before I stupidly lead myself into such a delusional belief of the lives of others and choosing to believe how mine pales in total comparison, I thought about how meanings would be lost if everyone had acquired every single thing mentioned above. Then why live anymore? Better to rest in peace with everything you've achieved, particularly happiness. And until we return to Him, dying in sheer happiness and peace; that's what we all should aim for.

Now I see that life is perpetual with challenges, and it's up to us to face up to all of them. If we're in a constant fight to succumb to all challenges, then we live. We live the life that is given to us. If life gives you lemons, I guess all you can do is to make lemonade!
Photobucket

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Hitam Manis

This is difficult to write, but it's definitely an important one amidst all the conversations we've been having lately. Growing up being brown/Malay wasn't easy, especially when it became ingrained in me that having a darker skin tone by default, is less desired than fairer skin tones. In childhood, I couldn't recall having to endure comments about my skin colour. Thankfully amongst children, these values ascribed to lightness and darkness didn't yet come to the fore. This consciousness became more obvious since secondary school. And it was tough and painful.  I've been in a sports CCA since secondary school and I couldn't really avoid not becoming tanned. What hurts the most was even my peers at that time would make comments about my skin colour without even realising the damage caused from these words. These comments I recall, were sometimes made under the guise of humour. I was called 'budak hitam' (literally means 'black child') and even ...

Reclaiming my voice

It has been more than 2 years since I published anything on this blog. I have written a few reflections quite abit during this time, but they are mostly in draft versions, probably reflective of the scatteredness of my thought processes, or the ongoing engagement with the topic which has yet found a proper resolve (or is there ever a resolve really?), or just me finding mere words to articulate my thoughts that are waiting to be entertained and possibly verbalised or written. I'm driven to write this post precisely because I can't entirely ignore the nagging voice inside my head, telling me to use writing as a tool to not only express myself, but to reclaim my voice. It is such an insanely noisy world. The constant stream of information from different online platforms not only pull me from various directions, but it spreads my attention too thin that it is impossible to follow one stream of thought, sit on it for awhile, slowly reflect and if possible, articulate it. It is not ...

Cycles

I found myself stopping in my tracks as soon as I was greeted by a view. There I was. Struck with awe and captivated by the beauty of the full moon. And a large one this time. So full, so bright, so round. Though a moon in its very physical form is full and round, we embrace this moment when we finally bear witness to this true form. Don't we have to see some crescents, quarters and gibbouses before we see the full moon? What a beautiful reminder from nature that it takes a cycle to be able to witness this beauty. And that cycles and processes are important building founding blocks of life. Like the metamorphosis of the caterpillar and the developmental stages of a growing embryo in the womb. Every journey consists of changes and processes. And we trudge along to finally reach to the end point; a beautiful end product, a beautiful long awaited destination and a beautiful final abode. A journey may be interspersed with days which seemed bleak and dark. But there is light at the e...