If i fall through these days

20 years I've been living. Yesterday was one of the few times when I was able to justify my existence. That I live not just because. But I am here for a reason. Life is a roller coaster ride. There were times when I wonder about how perfect the lives of others can be. Perfect happy family. Successful. Able to earn more than just to make ends meet. To love and be loved in return. World filled with love, wealth, good heath. Unflawed.

Before I stupidly lead myself into such a delusional belief of the lives of others and choosing to believe how mine pales in total comparison, I thought about how meanings would be lost if everyone had acquired every single thing mentioned above. Then why live anymore? Better to rest in peace with everything you've achieved, particularly happiness. And until we return to Him, dying in sheer happiness and peace; that's what we all should aim for.

Now I see that life is perpetual with challenges, and it's up to us to face up to all of them. If we're in a constant fight to succumb to all challenges, then we live. We live the life that is given to us. If life gives you lemons, I guess all you can do is to make lemonade!

Comments

Anything but ordinary

Sometimes I get so weird I even freak myself out I laugh myself to sleep it's my lullaby Sometimes I drive so fast Just to feel the danger I want to scream it makes me feel alive To walk within the lines Would make my life so boring I want to know that I have been to the extreme So knock me off my feet Come on now, give it to me Anything to make me feel alive Is it enough to love? Is it enough to breathe? Somebody rip my heart out And leave me here to bleed Is it enough to die? Somebody save my life I'd rather be anything but ordinary please I'd rather be anything but ordinary please Let down your defenses Use no common sense If you look, you will see That this world is a beautiful, accident Turbulent, succulent, opulent Permanent, no way I wanna taste it Don't wanna waste it away yeah, yeah Sometimes I get so weird I even freak myself out I laugh myself to sleep it's my lullaby I'd rather be anything but ordinary please

Hitam Manis

This is difficult to write, but it's definitely an important one amidst all the conversations we've been having lately. Growing up being brown/Malay wasn't easy, especially when it became ingrained in me that having a darker skin tone by default, is less desired than fairer skin tones. In childhood, I couldn't recall having to endure comments about my skin colour. Thankfully amongst children, these values ascribed to lightness and darkness didn't yet come to the fore. This consciousness became more obvious since secondary school. And it was tough and painful. I've been in a sports CCA since secondary school and I couldn't really avoid not becoming tanned. What hurts the most was even my peers at that time would make comments about my skin colour without even realising the damage caused from these words. These comments I recall, were sometimes made under the guise of humour. I was called 'budak hitam' (literally means 'black child') and even ...

Be, be your love

Just in Rachael Yamagata mood (: If I could take you away Pretend I was queen What would you say Would you think I'm unreal 'Cause everybody's got their way I should feel Everybody's talking how I, can't, can't be your love But I want, want, want to be your love Want to be your love, for real Everybody's talking how I, can't, can't be your love But I want, want, want to be your love Want to be your love for real Want to be your everything Everything... Everything's falling, and I am included in that Oh, how I try to be just okay Yeah, but all I ever really wanted Was a little piece of you Everything will be alright If you just stay the night Please, sir, don't you walk away, don't you walk away, don't you walk away Please, sir, don't you walk away, don't you walk away, don't you walk away And everybody's talking how I, can't, can't be your love But I want, want, want to be your love Want to be your love, for re...

Sakinah Abdul Aziz

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