Sakinah Abdul Aziz

It's dusk now as I'm writing this and Ramadan is here once again. It just seems so surreal to me how time flies - it cannot since be one Islamic year already. I still have vivid memories of last year's Ramadan. Just before the start of the fasting month, I was given the news that I was going to be furloughed for a few weeks. While I didn't like the sound of that initially, I was feeling fortunate for the first time ever in more than a decade or so, I was given this opportunity of spending the holy month without having to work, study or being involved in some kind of "formal vocation". Just me and the holy month - adjusting to the longer hours, focusing on the little goals I've got, preparing meals, performing worship as husband and wife for the first time. I haven't had time to fully process through the year, but time waits for no one. I'm here once again. To be honest, I'm feeling a tad anxious because this time round, I am working. This shoul

Oh who am I kidding? I wrote a post previously on the importance of mobility. But going further than that, it is the social encounters that make up the foundation of human experience living under this same canopy we call earth and sharing this home alongside others. To the first moment babies acquaint themselves with the world, having the first touch, hearing the sounds of a laughter, whimper, sigh, silent smile, and modelling on the external world to distinguish safety from danger, right from wrong, norms from exceptions. It is the everyday social experiences of walking out on the streets and seeing people doing their own thing - the mother reprimanding the child, the young man awkwardly fishing his pockets at the entrance of the bus, a fragile old woman taking her time to walk up the stairs, the sound of aggressive haggling at the market. And then there are those two close friends insisting they each want to pay the bill for the other, a group of boisterous teenagers disrupting your

If there is one thing the lockdown has made me realised, it is the importance of movement as an integral aspect of our day-to-day living. It is the short walk to the bus stop, to the office, the commute to meeting a friend or to that special place, the meeting of that food craving, the running of errands without worrying a single thing about irresponsible crowds. Now that a lot of these movements are no longer needed or have been much reduced, it is easy to fall into a slump. For awhile now, it has been incredibly tempting to remain in my chair, and to muster every once of my energy to journey towards the sofa, or worst the bed at 7pm after signing off from work. Life happens within these four walls and under this roof more than it does anywhere else in the world. Even though we have accomplished so much at home, yet it still feels like we're stuck. Sometimes, it feels like I'm living in a long block of time with no beginning nor end. The markers of time indeed are my body cloc

I just had a random thought about the evolution of languages. If I was born in the medieval times, I would struggle to comprehend what "link", "application (or app)", "post", and all these futuristic tech speak really mean as we understand them today in the 21st century, other than their actual literal meanings. I ca imagine how scary it is that an existing word today can mean something else in the future.  Context is everything.

It has been an incredibly different year, and now we are seeing second waves in many parts of the country. The summer was great while it lasted, and now as I'm writing this, it is a gloomy, cool, rainy season. It's been raining cats and dogs for a week now, so I haven't been stepping out of my house as much. With the surge of cases, there will be stricter measures put in place as well, so it's been difficult to make plans ahead. If it is anything that defines the year, it is really about living life day-by-day, week-by-week. Taking life one step at a time. And despite so, life tries to go by as per normal. And once again I'm feeling another season of uncertainty, lack of motivation for constant self-directed behaviour and keeping up with energy. Maybe it is the turnover of season, with shortening of daylight hours, maybe it's my job, and maybe it is the effects of using social media, making me feel like my simple life is boring and pales in comparison, being awa

With everything that has been going on globally as of late, there has been an overwhelming amount of information shared across various platforms, from all directions. It has been a rather overwhelming week, also because I just resumed working after close to 2 months of being furloughed. I see the goodness in the conversations that I'm having with some people. I just decide to lay low for abit and manage my consumption on social media not only because there was sensory overload, but also because reading too many headlines, short summaries and notes in bite-sized pieces while can be helpful, hinders the deep processing of our thoughts, slowly reflecting, thinking and formulating our opinions. I'm still pretty much an ol skool person who sees value in journaling (though digital), and the way words can immortalise moments, sentiments, thoughts and feelings. It definitely allows me to explore ideas, thoughts and sentiments slowly, but in greater depth. It definitely is a form of res

What triggered me to write this entry was a conversation I had with a friend who has been on her journey to disconnect digitally. During my catch-up with her, she shared that she recently cancelled her subscription to Netflix, to which I responded, "How did you have the courage to cancel Netflix?" with a shocked emoticon. Now, this reaction calls for a reflection and a deeper analysis into why my reaction was as such. It also reflects the centrality of Netflix (and its other variations before the advent of Netflix, such as online streaming channels, cable TV, the classic television etc.) in our lives. It makes me wonder if some of us watch some shows purely out of interest towards the show, or due to other reasons. I'm not going to deny the entertainment and leisure factor it brings, as it does serve as a perk-me-up when I watch a comedy or watch something really intriguing. This entry also does not position itself to convey that watching Netflix should be avoided at all

This is difficult to write, but it's definitely an important one amidst all the conversations we've been having lately. Growing up being brown/Malay wasn't easy, especially when it became ingrained in me that having a darker skin tone by default, is less desired than fairer skin tones. In childhood, I couldn't recall having to endure comments about my skin colour. Thankfully amongst children, these values ascribed to lightness and darkness didn't yet come to the fore. This consciousness became more obvious since secondary school. And it was tough and painful.  I've been in a sports CCA since secondary school and I couldn't really avoid not becoming tanned. What hurts the most was even my peers at that time would make comments about my skin colour without even realising the damage caused from these words. These comments I recall, were sometimes made under the guise of humour. I was called 'budak hitam' (literally means 'black child') and even

A close friend posed a question over WhatsApp, "What are your core values?". I can't remember a time when friends ask each other such a deep and fundamental question. I tend to think more intentionally about my values when I'm prompted to do so such as in work training settings, seminars etc. This question set me to immediately pen down some notes on Microsoft Word, a great opportunity to write a reflection piece where I can reevaluate and reassess my values intentionally. I decide to publish this today as a reminder to myself. What a great time now during the holy month of Ramadan to pen these down. Here are my answers to this question.  My core values:   1) Authenticity – Being true to myself entails aligning my actions with my worldviews, beliefs and thoughts, saying what I mean and meaning what I say, as well as recognising and respecting my boundaries. This relates to the values of integrity and vulnerability as well. I aspire to remain authentic in my interact